outeryou

I want to feel love. I feel glimmers of love like shimmers wrapped up in a box fell to the ground from above. I want more. The relationship between a man and a woman with sexual interactions, is much different then, one between a woman and a man with no sexual intentions. Friends, family, socialising. it's all love yet all different. The basis of love, to me, is loyalty. I give loyalty freely but i do not give it again so easily. I feel lonely too. Hard to distinguish sometimes, between longing for company, or the desire to love. Both just as confusing, reminds me of using, all these feelings hit me very differently, each one developing its own way of thinking, thus creating their own way of doing. as real as it gets, these feelings can be manipulating me into staying emotionally in this spot. i have to find a way to get past this mental block. I've waited to long to stop. Now that i've jumped started a part of me i thought long ago parted ways with me, i can see that i am empty and longing to be filled, with something that is real, tangible, something i can take with me whether this is the only life i live or if i live forever as a kid, love is eternal, always has been always will be. i must learn it, feel it, seek it, want it, i must have it to share it in the depths of the dark that tear people apart. i am not afraid i will open a bible in a crack house, i have, real shit. i can't even imagine the good i can do if i attained love and used it for the world, and not just for myself...