talked to joe tonight on the phone. it's been awhile. it felt so good to hear his voice. the sound alone made me misty eyed. he's such an awesome person (sorry jason...ah-some) anyhow....so i went to the mall here tonight. it was cool. met one of steves friends, who was funny, he's cool beans. i found a rubber band i kept shooting at them both....
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happy mode.end.
back to the self loathing
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
stormy:
oh ill be back.
nyc has stolen my heart.
god damnit i wanted to go dancing so bad!!!!!
nyc has stolen my heart.
god damnit i wanted to go dancing so bad!!!!!
rockepidemic:
Dizzamn girl, cut it out. Self loathing is my job.
its gorgeous out and i've got my fishnets on, my cute lil black undies, a hot date (le lovely limbo gal IGGY) and a huge grin and its time to let lose and be the lil dork i am. its weird how you instantly miss people when you think you won't be seeing them again. SGNY HERE I COME! 
haha
haha
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ice009:
good luck tonight.
ymonster:
Suffice to say the dream was dirty... and odd.
i'm sitting here with a ferret in my lap and a smile on my face. its sunny out, and i have plans to hang out with friends tonight and dance my boo-tay off wiff steve and IGGY!!!!!. feels good. today should be a better day.
Quizilla Thinggy :what bright eyes song are you"
You are "Waste of Paint". You can be a very over analyzing...
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Quizilla Thinggy :what bright eyes song are you"
You are "Waste of Paint". You can be a very over analyzing...
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tracyramone:
i'm soooooooo jealous!! i wanna go too!!! 
the more i talk to you the worse i feel 
but it's not like i DON"T want to tlak to you. i wish we were okay, and we're not. we fight on a daily basis. you think i don't listen to you, and you're wrong. i do, sometimes i just don't know how to react. agh......i'll shut up. anything i say will make it worse....
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but it's not like i DON"T want to tlak to you. i wish we were okay, and we're not. we fight on a daily basis. you think i don't listen to you, and you're wrong. i do, sometimes i just don't know how to react. agh......i'll shut up. anything i say will make it worse....
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trucker_fiction:
well, shit... sorry, i was just trying to ask directions to the nearest slaughterhouse.... finding a quality blue-collar job these days has become quite a chore.... maybe i should look into that organ donation for money program....
lv:
*hugs Lush* I hope you do feel better and move on with choosing life soon, rather than continuing to pick the scabs and wounds you've experienced. It makes me sad to see you upset, and maybe it's selfish in not wanting me to be sad, and in wanting you not to be upset...but I like to think I truly would rather you not be upset.
I wish I could say more, but I don't want you upset with me or angry with me at all...I guess I'm not close enough to really know how you'd react to me and things.
At any rate, hugs to you lushy, and hopefully things start looking up soon.
I wish I could say more, but I don't want you upset with me or angry with me at all...I guess I'm not close enough to really know how you'd react to me and things.
At any rate, hugs to you lushy, and hopefully things start looking up soon.
"you need peoples approval... thats why you drink as much as you do... thats why you have to go out a lot... thats why you cant be single... thats why youre a memeber of all these communities... b/c you need them... and right now you dont have them... its been a littlw while since you were out with people... and thats why you feel so...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
peart:
I know what it is like to be alone, I have been alone all my life. I am used to it. I expect it. It is my future. Things for you though will improve, eventually it'll take time. There will be ups and downs, peaks and valleys, but hopefully you'll be there. Don't ask me where there is though. Have a good day and know that at least one person and mostly likely many more think that you are pretty nifty, and I'm sure a good book will think you are nifty too.
------
If I could wave my magic wand...
I am made from the dust of the stars
And the oceans flow in my veins
Here I hide in the heart of the city
Like a stranger coming out of the rain
The evening plane rises up from the runway
Over constellations of light
I look down into a million houses
And wonder what you're doing tonight
If I could wave my magic wand
I'd make everything all right
I'm not one to believe in magic
But I sometimes have a second sight
I'm not one with a sense of proportion
When my heart still changes overnight
I had a dream of a winter garden
A midnight rendezvous
Silver, blue and frozen silence
What a fool I was for you
I had a dream of the open water
I was swimming away out to sea
So deep I could never touch bottom
What a fool I used to be
If I could wave my magic wand
I'd set everybody free
I'm not one to believe in magic
Though my memory has a second sight
I'm not one to go pointing my finger
When I radiate more heat than light
Don't ask me
I'm just improvising
My illusion of careless flight
Can't you see
My temperature's rising
I radiate more heat than light
Don't ask me
I'm just sympathizing
My illusions a harmless flight
Can't you see
My temperature's rising
I radiate more heat than light
Presto written by Neil Peart
------
If I could wave my magic wand...
I am made from the dust of the stars
And the oceans flow in my veins
Here I hide in the heart of the city
Like a stranger coming out of the rain
The evening plane rises up from the runway
Over constellations of light
I look down into a million houses
And wonder what you're doing tonight
If I could wave my magic wand
I'd make everything all right
I'm not one to believe in magic
But I sometimes have a second sight
I'm not one with a sense of proportion
When my heart still changes overnight
I had a dream of a winter garden
A midnight rendezvous
Silver, blue and frozen silence
What a fool I was for you
I had a dream of the open water
I was swimming away out to sea
So deep I could never touch bottom
What a fool I used to be
If I could wave my magic wand
I'd set everybody free
I'm not one to believe in magic
Though my memory has a second sight
I'm not one to go pointing my finger
When I radiate more heat than light
Don't ask me
I'm just improvising
My illusion of careless flight
Can't you see
My temperature's rising
I radiate more heat than light
Don't ask me
I'm just sympathizing
My illusions a harmless flight
Can't you see
My temperature's rising
I radiate more heat than light
Presto written by Neil Peart
tracyramone:
you know where to find me if you need anything!!!! (((hugs)))
agh...fine fine....i'm back, i went annonymous for awhile. i'm dealing with a lot of shit. doubts and confusion, letting go, realizing some of my mistakes, self loathing, and blah blah blah...i'll spare the details. to get to the point, i haven't smiled in awhile. i just want to dissappear and hide and not exist anymore.
Well as of late I think I've tripped and gone...
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Well as of late I think I've tripped and gone...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
williamj:
i hope you get everything sorted out. i know is fucking hard sometimes
eero:
oh do i?
fine, whatever, jerkface.
fine, whatever, jerkface.
agh...fine fine....i'm back, i went annonymous for awhile. i'm dealing with a lot of shit. doubts and confusion, letting go, realizing some of my mistakes, self loathing, and blah blah blah...i'll spare the details. to get to the point, i haven't smiled in awhile. i just want to dissappear and hide and not exist anymore.
yet more ranting
i hate that BOY (as he will...
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yet more ranting
i hate that BOY (as he will...
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fenris23:
Being depressed and having things bother you isn't stupid. Its just being depressed. **HUGS**
lunna:
Your line about feeling like you don't want to exist anymore. Yes, I can relate to that and the not being fully happy. I have felt that way for weeks. It was just yesterday that I smiled again and I'm working on trying to feel better so many *hugs* &
I hope you feel better soon hon.
I hope you feel better soon hon.
another list-y rant thing
i hate waking up in the mornings feeling like shit bc i woke up.
i hate wishing i could crawl out of my skin and discard it and just be free of everything..including emotion
i don't want to be Quinna anymore
i need a new profile pic...i'm sick of looking at my boob
i make far to many mistakes to be...
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i hate waking up in the mornings feeling like shit bc i woke up.
i hate wishing i could crawl out of my skin and discard it and just be free of everything..including emotion
i don't want to be Quinna anymore
i need a new profile pic...i'm sick of looking at my boob
i make far to many mistakes to be...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
ymonster:
I had a dream about you last night. Weird.
fenris23:
I wake up everymorning/afternoon whatever the same way.
Though I kind of like your profile pic. You deserve to be shot? Now that is emo. There are many many people on the deserve to be shot list before you. I am certainly on it ahead of you.
Though I kind of like your profile pic. You deserve to be shot? Now that is emo. There are many many people on the deserve to be shot list before you. I am certainly on it ahead of you.
once again...i hate keeping my mouth sht....but this is about something COMPLETELY differant
edited to say- chatroomers....... my appologies, ididn't go in there with the intention of being a bitch...i'm just at a breaking point.
edited to say- chatroomers....... my appologies, ididn't go in there with the intention of being a bitch...i'm just at a breaking point.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
legionnaire:
hey there... i thought that was you, but it's hard to tell because you keep changing your screen name. 
see you saturday!
see you saturday!
steveneurotic:
The apple is sad because you're sad.
no words
just