originalzombee

idunno whats going on right now, but something isn't right. i'm about to hit some big dramatic whirl wind of emotions, i can feel it. ricky, i know you check this often, and quite frankly, idk what teh hell is going on with you. i don't understand you at all. you're a completely differant person than the person that im'd me saying "hi, i'm goobers friend, how goes it?" i feel like i don't know you anymore. tonight you called me over a dozen times. my phone was off bc i was at a show. all i know is right now i feel like i could puke. idk what to say about you're lj posts either. basically i'm at an ends here. idk what you want from me, i do my best to provide things for you, and somehow it never seemed enough. fuck this, there is no reason why i should feel this way. hspae up or else i might have to make it a point to really just move on, and stop trying to worry about you all teh time. there is no excuse for teh fact i spend almost every day wishing i wasn't alive bc don't feel adiquate. not as a gf, but as a human being. i feel sub normal, and non important. then i come on to sg where i can just be carefree and not always walking on eggshells, and yo give me shit for it. i'm not letting you mentally twist my arm and mold me into who you think i should be, or who you think you need. relationships aren't about controll. its caring, love, honor, goofing off, being considerate, recognizing teh little things for how important they are, not fighting and controll and weekly drama. i can't do it anymore. shape up or else you're out of my life forever. not even as a friend. bc i truely TRUELY can't handel you anymore. you need help, professional help. and fast.