Twas the night before Christmas leave when all through the house not a creature was stirring, only a click from my mouse.

My uniform was hung in the closet right next to the spare, above the boots neatly placed in a pair.

The bottles were nestled all snug on the shelf and so were my meds, while visions of pink elephants danced in my head. And George hanging from a noose, wearing a bright red cap, while I wonder why I didn’t name him Fred, I had just settled in for my afternoon nap. I hoped my water tank didn’t freeze and shatter. I figured I had insurance so it didn’t matter. In my underwear I walked past the window and hoped I didn’t give anyone a flash or a moon. With no where to go, I really hoped my vacation wouldn’t blow. After I woke, what should appear but an ice cold beer. I was worried it would warm, so I had to drink it quick. More rapid than eagles I drank more of the same. And I whistled and shouted it’s them I would eventually blame. Now I’m dashing, a dancer but not a prancer, I need to find me a vixen. I’ll have to clean the toilet with Comet, fuck you cupid, it’s time to get on’er I think I may get blitzen. I don’t have a front porch, no not at all. I hope this rash away, rash away all.