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I had a stalker once.

I also used to look a lot better than I do now - in the centre of England the "alternative" look was pretty underutilised, and I was really one of the first. Plus I played in a band, and was in the sixth form - this, for some reason, made people like me. It was very strange. Especially as where we used to rehearse had one wall made completely out of toughened glass, which you could see straight into from the outside world. We got all manner of knobheads pressed up against the glass. It was great fun kicking at it though.

In reality, I looked a bit daft with a pineapple lookalike stuck to my head. I used to be a good guitarist but now less so after losing motivation to play; but I still had a stalker.

She got my phone number off an advert we put up for a drummer. She, again, was a couple of years younger than I was, but very, very pretty - and also the person that got the whole fishnet holdups thing going for me. (in a nutshell - I have a thing about fishnet holdups, and it's all her fault for wearing some with a tartan skirt one day).

At first I just found it weird - but after a short while, when she actually used to come up to me and talk to me rather than just calling me up and hanging up, we got talking and got on pretty well. We went out for coffee one night, had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle and met up again that weekend.

She accused me of kissing one of her mates and pressuring her for sex.

That was that then. My girlfriend now is still convinced that I like her now though - whenever we see her in town she always quite obviously pushes me as far out of the way as possible. It's kinda cute in a "I'm going to kill you" way.

At least it wasn't all bad though. Holdups are hardly much of a solace though.