optimistickid

i am eating triscuits right now. they are soooo good! i hadn't had one in years before yesterday. and i never realized that they are whole grain wheat too!

i have done it. after 25 years, things will never be the same. you shall see what i mean, if everything works out. otherwise, i'll lock myself in my room and never come out again.

my life is a joke, my life is a lie. i fake happiness because i don't want to face other people knowing i'm unhappy. i was thrown into this world without a choice. i may have been thrown into a crumby place, but it sure wasn't as bad as many other people have it, yet i did not make the best of it. i don't...
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i am back from vt and feeling alright. i had a good time this year. i am on an earlier schedule now thanks to getting up earlier for skiing every day. no more waking up at 10:30, it's 9:00 or earlier now. i got a job today. yes i am back at the same place. and making the same amount of money, which is good....
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i will be in vermont skiing all this week so you won't hear from me for a while. ugh, i don't even really want to go. skiing is so much work. getting up early. putting on all those ski clothes. trudging up the mountain in ski boots. ugh.... plus it's just me, my parents, and my cousin laura. i really would've liked to stay home...
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i can't take it anymore. i can't find a job. i went to school for computer science. and for what? to throw away thousands of dollars apparently. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK i can't stand it. i am at the end of my sanity. i don't know what to do. i feel like there is nothing i can do. i just can't take it anymore. my parents are hounding...
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here is an mp3 of a song i made a while ago called xmas lights i made it with cakewalk home studio and it's obviously not perfect, but i'd really love to hear your thoughts on it. thanks

i'm tired. tomorrow i will post an mp3 of a song i made a while ago. i haven't written any new songs in ages. i'm so lazy. i want to play in a band again. how long has it been? 4 years? i need to start rocking again!!!!!!

my body aches from being sick, playing basketball, sitting in this shitty chair, and from my stupid back.

go listen to pearl jam - i got ID

even though i shouldn't get my hopes up, i can't wait for their next album. i am still holding out hope they will make another great album. even if it is not as intense as their earlier stuff....
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