optimistickid

I went on an interview today and I got a temporary job which pays $19 an hour. I should feel happy right? I'm more nervous than happy actually. I don't know if I'll fit in in a semi-corporate office setting. One of the things which I am most uncomfortable with is the dress code. Business casual. Does that mean I am going to have to tuck my shirt in and look like a dork? And I have to get up at 8:30 in the morning and work till 5. Ughh... The sad part of all this is I am only doing this because I need a job and I need money. You know.... i'm treating it as a means to an end basically, which is terrible. Hopefully I'll meet some cool people while I'm there and I will enjoy the job after all, but right now it's nothing more than a means to an end. So I will be pissy until the job starts on Wednesday. My view of life until then is basically like one big count-down.

I know I've got problems. I'm way too identified with my mind, and I know that I should try harder to break those identifications, but it's really hard. I'm so used to acting the way that I act. And it's especially hard to break those old patterns of behavior when you're living in an environment that is brimming with negative energy.

Politics. Lately since I'm getting more into politics I view all Republicans as scum sucking assholes. Part of me feels like maybe I'm wrong to judge all republicans like that, and part of me feels like I'm right. Okay... let me explain my view of a republican. A republican is usually a rich white person who wants to hold onto their money and position of power over other races. Republicans don't like change. They like things the way they are and the way they used to be.

So let me be nice for a second and suppose that a republican is just a rich somebody who believes they worked for what they got and they deserve to keep it, and that social change is something that we need to approach slowly so we do it right. To that I say this: our country began with slavery and racial and gender-based inequality. That can't be disputed. So obviously our country was pretty fucked up from the beginning and this whole time we've been trying to make things better. And it's pretty obvious that things are far from perfect, and that there are still many social injustices going on. So anybody who says that things are fine the way they are is full of shit. What they're saying is essentially "things are fine for me, and I'm a greedy mother fucker who doesn't want to give any of my money to help make things better".

Am I wrong to feel contempt for Republicans? I should probably pity them instead because they're just so "misguided". But there are so many people who actually are republicans that i think... could that many people really be so evil? And how could evil be so tolerated in todays world? Then I think to myself that back when slavery existed it was probably not so easy for people to speak out against it because it was so common. I guess if people get used to something, they come to accept it. People want to fit in with eachother. Often people will break their system of beliefs just to fit in with others.

So maybe the Republicans of today are just like the slave owners of yesterday. Maybe someday in the future if our society wakes up they will look back on this time and say "I can't believe Republicans actually existed back then", in the same way we would say "I can't believe slavery really took place".