Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

onetruesephiroth

Carlsbad, CA

Member Since 2003

Followers 2 Following 0

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Aug 25, 2003

Aug 25, 2003
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
friends, come along with me on a journey... i know where it starts, and i know where it ends but how to get those points to meet ahh, thats a part of the journey too... some of it will be good, some of it will be bad, but with patience, and perseverance hopefully i can make it worth your while.

Prologue...

The light from the setting sun came in through the windows, the cracks, the bullet holes in the walls, giving a bright eerie glow to the dust that hadnt been stirred up in ages in the old, musty house.

Quinn stopped at his task for a minute he was watching the motes in front of him and soon was lost within their odd dance in the days last light. Above him the sun came in through an open window and he enjoyed its warmth on his right cheek, forgetting, for the moment the blood running down his left. The rattle of machine gun fire and the shout of the troops outside snapped Quinn out of his trance and back into the here and now, and as he sat there prepping for battle, his back against the wall (literally and figuratively), he thought about the exact moment when everything went to shit

so it begins, id like your opinion, as always be honest. if you like it, say so, if you hate it, dont be afraid to tell me that too.


VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
heavenlystranger:
btw....i don't just write when insperation (sp) hits me. i try to sit down everyday and make myself write. sometimes it sucks.
h.s.
Aug 27, 2003
arrington1279:
Since this is opening for a novel, I can give you one fiction workshop-style recommendation: shorten the sentences to bump up the pacing. Makes it more kinetic and frantic, so we feel a bit of what Quinn feels. And do avoid calling attnetion to what's literal and what's figurative. Takes all the fun out of it for the reader. smile

[Edited on Aug 28, 2003]
Aug 28, 2003

More Blogs

  • 12.11.03
    0

    Friday Dec 12, 2003

    "These aren't the droids you're looking for..." "Go abou…
  • 12.09.03
    1

    Tuesday Dec 09, 2003

    Four more pics from deep within one of the true onders of the world..…
  • 12.08.03
    1

    Tuesday Dec 09, 2003

    For anyone who's interested, I have some pictures up from when I went…
  • 12.05.03
    3

    Friday Dec 05, 2003

    He checked his things one more time, everything was in order, it was …
  • 12.02.03
    0

    Tuesday Dec 02, 2003

    Five little letters fo' yo' asses... K-O-T-O-R That's right bab…
  • 11.30.03
    0

    Sunday Nov 30, 2003

    No, let me tell you something Motherfucker...
  • 11.27.03
    3

    Thursday Nov 27, 2003

    So, today is Thanksgiving in the U.S. a time to sit down with your fa…
  • 10.25.03
    7

    Saturday Oct 25, 2003

    Do you know what I learned tonight? I learned that if you fuck with t…
  • 10.24.03
    0

    Friday Oct 24, 2003

    Life is such a mystery, but a good mystery I suppose. What we know co…
  • 10.21.03
    1

    Tuesday Oct 21, 2003

    I have decided that my only and true purpose in life right now is to …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
8
months
22
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,589 SuicideGirls
  • 1,122,986 followers
  • 14,909,968 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,366,512 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo