Monday Aug 25, 2003

0
friends, come along with me on a journey... i know where it starts, and i know where it ends but how to get those points to meet ahh, thats a part of the journey too... some of it will be good, some of it will be bad, but with patience, and perseverance hopefully i can make it worth your while.

Prologue...

The light from the setting sun came in through the windows, the cracks, the bullet holes in the walls, giving a bright eerie glow to the dust that hadnt been stirred up in ages in the old, musty house.

Quinn stopped at his task for a minute he was watching the motes in front of him and soon was lost within their odd dance in the days last light. Above him the sun came in through an open window and he enjoyed its warmth on his right cheek, forgetting, for the moment the blood running down his left. The rattle of machine gun fire and the shout of the troops outside snapped Quinn out of his trance and back into the here and now, and as he sat there prepping for battle, his back against the wall (literally and figuratively), he thought about the exact moment when everything went to shit

so it begins, id like your opinion, as always be honest. if you like it, say so, if you hate it, dont be afraid to tell me that too.


VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
heavenlystranger:
btw....i don't just write when insperation (sp) hits me. i try to sit down everyday and make myself write. sometimes it sucks.
h.s.
arrington1279:
Since this is opening for a novel, I can give you one fiction workshop-style recommendation: shorten the sentences to bump up the pacing. Makes it more kinetic and frantic, so we feel a bit of what Quinn feels. And do avoid calling attnetion to what's literal and what's figurative. Takes all the fun out of it for the reader. smile

[Edited on Aug 28, 2003]

More Blogs