I just can't stop, this week has been insane, I haven't really eaten anything solid in two days. I've also smoked way past my cigarette quota, and availability...
I had my meeting last night which absaloutley scared the shit out of me. By fluke, myself, another young member and two new workers got voted onto the collective of an already-failing organisation. There are 500 evaluations to do and 'subventions' to fill out and I know nothing of any of it, and there are no previous members (exept 1 who attends but doesnt vote, and really doubts my capabilities... I can't blame her) who can really explain everything. Plus it really works on a collective basis, so there are seven million rules and only one way of going about things. I barely slept last night because of this. What I have to do is becoming more of a part time job, plus my actual part time job, plus my education, plus outside factors... there is no room to think during the week anymore. Boy, do I wanna get wasted this weekend.
Plus, I fought with the mister. I fucking hate fighting with the mister. But thats over with. He said someting interesting- next year we are supposed to be moving in together, where we will both be in a more secure financial situation and be going into university. He told me I shouldn't go with him if I wanted to travel, and in reality, I really fucking want to travel, but am willing to wait. Call me a hopeless romantic, but i'd rather not chance ruining something I have for an experience that I would prefer to share with him anyways. My eyes do shine when I listen to people talking about their adventures, but without him or a friend to do it with, there is nothing...
Then I fought with my sister, Sounds like right now my life would make an interesting song. My sister ruined a bunch of my clothes in a mud fight, which is fairly trivial, but fuck, she ruined all my new clothes. Then swore they were not in a mudfight. THen, the pictures were on facebook, hahaha... but of course the second I call her out in a bold faced lie, it becomes about the fact that I am never home. No fucking shit, child. It's another stressor in itself.
Plus, i've managed to gain weight.
I really have to find something to be happy about, something beyond people. On days like today where the human relations aren't working out, I need something to be happy about.
I had my meeting last night which absaloutley scared the shit out of me. By fluke, myself, another young member and two new workers got voted onto the collective of an already-failing organisation. There are 500 evaluations to do and 'subventions' to fill out and I know nothing of any of it, and there are no previous members (exept 1 who attends but doesnt vote, and really doubts my capabilities... I can't blame her) who can really explain everything. Plus it really works on a collective basis, so there are seven million rules and only one way of going about things. I barely slept last night because of this. What I have to do is becoming more of a part time job, plus my actual part time job, plus my education, plus outside factors... there is no room to think during the week anymore. Boy, do I wanna get wasted this weekend.
Plus, I fought with the mister. I fucking hate fighting with the mister. But thats over with. He said someting interesting- next year we are supposed to be moving in together, where we will both be in a more secure financial situation and be going into university. He told me I shouldn't go with him if I wanted to travel, and in reality, I really fucking want to travel, but am willing to wait. Call me a hopeless romantic, but i'd rather not chance ruining something I have for an experience that I would prefer to share with him anyways. My eyes do shine when I listen to people talking about their adventures, but without him or a friend to do it with, there is nothing...
Then I fought with my sister, Sounds like right now my life would make an interesting song. My sister ruined a bunch of my clothes in a mud fight, which is fairly trivial, but fuck, she ruined all my new clothes. Then swore they were not in a mudfight. THen, the pictures were on facebook, hahaha... but of course the second I call her out in a bold faced lie, it becomes about the fact that I am never home. No fucking shit, child. It's another stressor in itself.
Plus, i've managed to gain weight.
I really have to find something to be happy about, something beyond people. On days like today where the human relations aren't working out, I need something to be happy about.
A mudfight. Who has mudfights? Sounds like fun though? Just not in your new clothes.
Welcome.