Fuck my life. it sucks, has always sucked, will always suck hereafter. Fuck it all, fuck everything.
I apparently have no soul, I'm still pondering if that empty void is actually empty or if it is filled with bile and human excrement which would explai nthe rest of my lacklustre existence.
I was not made for this earth, if I was I would have had non crooked teeth, a non crooked head, people would actually like me, I wouldn't struggle to perform basic motor functions, remember that scene in elf where they berate him for only making 35 etch a sketches, that sums up my every working day, I'm too slow for my job and trying to concentrate hard with my shit for brains just seems to make the whole thought process flow even slower.
But work is the least of my worries, who needs a job when you don't even have a fully functioning life? Social life? people view me as 'that one awkward guy' who they intiaillyy think is alright, but then try talking to me and realise I can't hold a conversation, much less carry one, my every word as unwanted as blowjob from a prostitute who's known to have herpes.
I never get invited out, people hate me, and now I in turn make no effort to even try to be liked, it's a waste of effort on my part, I fail so why bother, better to be that annoying shit, almost makes me wish I did get invited out just once more so I can be a cynical cockblocking motherfucker.
I hate people, I hate life, but only because life hated me first.
I apparently have no soul, I'm still pondering if that empty void is actually empty or if it is filled with bile and human excrement which would explai nthe rest of my lacklustre existence.
I was not made for this earth, if I was I would have had non crooked teeth, a non crooked head, people would actually like me, I wouldn't struggle to perform basic motor functions, remember that scene in elf where they berate him for only making 35 etch a sketches, that sums up my every working day, I'm too slow for my job and trying to concentrate hard with my shit for brains just seems to make the whole thought process flow even slower.
But work is the least of my worries, who needs a job when you don't even have a fully functioning life? Social life? people view me as 'that one awkward guy' who they intiaillyy think is alright, but then try talking to me and realise I can't hold a conversation, much less carry one, my every word as unwanted as blowjob from a prostitute who's known to have herpes.
I never get invited out, people hate me, and now I in turn make no effort to even try to be liked, it's a waste of effort on my part, I fail so why bother, better to be that annoying shit, almost makes me wish I did get invited out just once more so I can be a cynical cockblocking motherfucker.
I hate people, I hate life, but only because life hated me first.
Omaru and I'm sorry you get so down on yourself. Have you ever tried to see someone about this all? I know it may sound silly but it has helped me during hard times in the past. <3
I guess I'm more worried about the long term, I was never smart enough to go to uni so I've never lived alone or have any semblance of what it is to be self reliant. But my mom will be 71 this year so I always feel like I have that biological clock ticking away before the rug gets pulled from under me, When my brothers moved out it was pretty much because they had partners to move in with so I guess I feel like maybe I'm not living up to the the 'standard' but also don't really know what I should be doing to change.