omaru

I'm done, I will never fit in, be part of the crowd, I'll never be part of the alternative crowd either, "tooo boring, too tame, too straight edge"

There is no place for me, and I see no point in hanging around once my account expires, I have no idea what I hoped to achieve by joining this place but it's just another pit stop for me to feel awkward and out of place in.

I'd like to blame my mom for my plain upbringing, the straight edge lifestyle I've adopted from pretty much 12 onwards....but who are we fucking kidding, I couldv'e rebelled like any teenager but I didn't and now my social ineptness has come to collect its "FUCK YOU" dollars in full..

Trying to think of a way to get out of life without actually resorting to suicide because the idea of a vast empty nothingness with non cognitive functions really scares the fuck outta me, much to a point where I used to in my teenage years cry myself to sleep with the concept of death and the complete lack of anything it's going to provide. But I don't quite like the idea of prison and I don't think theres any places in the UK I can get myself institutionalised in.

Really at a loss with life right now...or lack thereof.
Simply confused with no drive to move on.