Sunday Dec 07, 2003

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Does anyone know any dwarves who would be willing to work around my home? I need one to circle me in the shower and shave my legs, and about four who would be willing to hop up on my bed at night and give me a full body massage.

I would prefer if these dwarves were 18 inch versions of me (appearance and personality), as I always thought it would be fun (and frightening) to see a pack of small Olsens running around me wherever I went.

I am now accepting applications.

Thank you.
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salome_seule:
that is SUCH an excellent way of dealing with a racist grafitti problem. i love your school sometimes. it's so interesting how people take to art. at my school last year, at the end of the year, there was this one big building that was going to be torn down in 2 weeks, and so a bunch of kids, i dunno who, went in the middle of the night and tagged the whole thing. gorgeous graffitti art. and the next day, the dean of students sent out this huge letter to everyone saying how "disrepectful" it was, and that it "parents and prospective students on tours" could see it and that it was bad for the schools image. so i wrote him back this huge letter telling him how immature and awful he was. that he should've OFFERED the building to the artists.
cheech:
Ha, that would be fun and frightening. I would hope these were not the underpants-stealing variety of gnomes.

Sorry to hear about the medical condition; I have no idea if you're really in trouble because of that or not...

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