ohash

I have been having bad dreams for the past 4 nights now...I am so fucking tired that I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Every single night I wake up around 2:30, 4:30, and 5:30 with some terrible dream in my recent memory. Last night the first one was a pregnant dream then I woke up and couldn't stop poking my belly...I talked to it too...like "Do you hear me goddammit...in 10 days you WILL start your period or there will be hell to pay!!", then the next one had something to do with my old fuck buddy from college...I don't remember it exactly...but I remember waking up and going "Fuck Bryan!"...and not in the good way...so I'm assuming he did something obnoxious in my dream. Then the last one was me in a new apartment...it started out wonderful, but then everything went to shit...I got robbed, lost my job, lost the apartment, was living on the streets...it was great. I assure you.

I am trying to convince myself that tonight I will just sleep. No issues...no dreams...just fucking sleep. Maybe if I drink a couple bottles of wine, I can just pass out. Actually, it'll probably just give me a headache and heartburn, so maybe that's not a good idea.

On a positive note, I finally went and bought myself a new USB for my iPod. The old one came up missing about a month ago...so it is time for me to update my playlist a bit. I will do that when I get home tonight. Hooray! And I have a new silly guilty-pleasure book that I have thrown myself into, so there will be a romance paperback read this weekend as well. And I'm going bowling on Saturday for one of Jon's friend's birthdays. He's turning 30 and wanted to have a bowling and pizza party. Haha. I guess it's better than wanting a coke and hooker party. Next weekend I will be all by myself and it will be the loveliest thing. Jon and the kid are going up the lake house and I can lay around in pajamas for 3 days and no one will yell at me. I even have that Friday (the 18th) and Monday (Martin Luther King Day) off work. Hooray!! I am considering trying to talk a friend into coming to visit so I can have a lay-around-in-pajamas buddy, but she's all busy with med school and I doubt she will.