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Well, wish me luck. I'm off to my family tomorrow morning. If you've been keeping track of my blogs, you'd notice that I talk a lot about going to visit Jon's family and not at all about my own. That's because for as much love as we throw around, we are insane. Then you get the whole group of us together and it turns into disaster, chaos, and mayhem. Someone (usually my aunt) always ends up crying, someone (usually my other aunt) doesn't take a breath and never stops talking while being in the way of the cook, someone (usually my uncle) always spills something on my mom's white carpet, someone (usually my brother) hides in his room and plays loud, angry music until it's time to eat, someone (usually my mom) always ends up yelling, and someone (usually me) always ends up drinking. And I expect this year to be worse because it's our first holiday without Grandpa. I spent a lot of time thinking about that while I was baking pies and cheesecakes tonight...Thanksgiving last year was the last time we were all together with Grandpa. The four cousins went down to the rec room to watch TV, and my mom came and fetched us...told us to get our asses upstairs because it may be the last holiday we were all together. I hate that she was right, and I hate even more that we ignored her. If it gets really bad, I'll just go to my dad's to hide. He and my Grandma are calm and quiet at all times.

This week has been a great big pile of suck. For so many reasons that I don't feel like getting into, but my mind and body have been in overdrive and it wore me out. I actually had a panic attack last night and ended up going to bed at like 9:30 because I just didn't want to think about it anymore.

I wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving. I'm sure I'll let you know how it goes.