Comic Spoof: for Tuesday June 17th
Rex Morgan M.D. (by Wilson and Nolan)
Panel 1: Man: "What's so important that youv'e got to tell me here in the kitchen?"
Woman: "I felt this would be the perfect place to tell you!"
Panel 2: Woman: "That case of genital warts I told you I had? Well, the warts 'burst' rather than just ooze! That's what the gunk has been here all over the dish rack!"
Panel 3: Woman: "By the way, I've been using your toothbrush to clean the gunk up!"
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Judge Parker (by Ledoux and Wilson)
Panel 1: Man: "Look, what do you want?
Harry: "I need your help picking up this box of fabric swatches!"
Panel 2: Man: "Harry, I'm not gay!"
Panel 3: Harry: "You fucking idiot, I'm not asking you to fuck me in the ass, I just want you to help me pick up this freakin' box!"
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Mary Worth (by Saunders and Giella)
Panel 1: Brint: "Let's get the fucking lead out ok?! These REO Speedwagon tickets weren't cheap!"
Girl: "Chill out dude, I just need to buy a tampax"
Panel 2 Brint: "You miserable slut, only whores and liberals uses tampons, just go Au Naturale like Martha Washington, now there was a model American and a hot peice of ass too."
Girl: "!!!"
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Classic Peanuts (by Schulz)
Panel 1: Linus: "Charlie Brown, have you ever wondered why we're here?"
Panel 2: Linus: "I mean, we're stuck here in what anyone could argue is an uncaring universe full of parasites who live off each other in and endless chain of depravity, in a universe where, no matter how significant our accomplishments may be in the short term, given the proper perspective they are utterly USELESS!"
Panel 3: Linus: "By the way, I shit my pants back there by home plate, they want me out of the game."
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Dennis the Menace (by Ketcham)
Panel 1: Dennis: "Hey Mr. Willson, remember how you said no one could ever sell a warm bucket of piss? Well I made $5.00 from my 'lemonade' stand and some of my Mom's hang over pee!"
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The Family Circus (by Keane)
Panel 1: Billy: "For $5, I'll lock you in the cage with the cat and let you do whatever you want. God doesn't care about stupid cats anyway."
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Baby Blues (by Kirkman and Scott)
Panel 1: Zoe: "When Dad said he was 'saving his seed for a special occasion,' I didn't think to believe him."
Rex Morgan M.D. (by Wilson and Nolan)
Panel 1: Man: "What's so important that youv'e got to tell me here in the kitchen?"
Woman: "I felt this would be the perfect place to tell you!"
Panel 2: Woman: "That case of genital warts I told you I had? Well, the warts 'burst' rather than just ooze! That's what the gunk has been here all over the dish rack!"
Panel 3: Woman: "By the way, I've been using your toothbrush to clean the gunk up!"
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Judge Parker (by Ledoux and Wilson)
Panel 1: Man: "Look, what do you want?
Harry: "I need your help picking up this box of fabric swatches!"
Panel 2: Man: "Harry, I'm not gay!"
Panel 3: Harry: "You fucking idiot, I'm not asking you to fuck me in the ass, I just want you to help me pick up this freakin' box!"
-------
Mary Worth (by Saunders and Giella)
Panel 1: Brint: "Let's get the fucking lead out ok?! These REO Speedwagon tickets weren't cheap!"
Girl: "Chill out dude, I just need to buy a tampax"
Panel 2 Brint: "You miserable slut, only whores and liberals uses tampons, just go Au Naturale like Martha Washington, now there was a model American and a hot peice of ass too."
Girl: "!!!"
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Classic Peanuts (by Schulz)
Panel 1: Linus: "Charlie Brown, have you ever wondered why we're here?"
Panel 2: Linus: "I mean, we're stuck here in what anyone could argue is an uncaring universe full of parasites who live off each other in and endless chain of depravity, in a universe where, no matter how significant our accomplishments may be in the short term, given the proper perspective they are utterly USELESS!"
Panel 3: Linus: "By the way, I shit my pants back there by home plate, they want me out of the game."
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Dennis the Menace (by Ketcham)
Panel 1: Dennis: "Hey Mr. Willson, remember how you said no one could ever sell a warm bucket of piss? Well I made $5.00 from my 'lemonade' stand and some of my Mom's hang over pee!"
-------
The Family Circus (by Keane)
Panel 1: Billy: "For $5, I'll lock you in the cage with the cat and let you do whatever you want. God doesn't care about stupid cats anyway."
-------
Baby Blues (by Kirkman and Scott)
Panel 1: Zoe: "When Dad said he was 'saving his seed for a special occasion,' I didn't think to believe him."