Well I also need a little bit of advice. My current roommate, who also used to be my best friend, is becoming extremely disrespectful. Constantly back talking me, never doing anything around the house and her boyfriend has practically moved in without permission. I want her out NOW. Problem....our lease doesn't end until July. What's a good way (even though I wish I could be a total bitch), is a good way to get her to move out early? Like...yesterday? Any advice would be awesome. Or just someone to tell me to calm the fuck down.
Xoxo, Odyssey♡
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grady31:
The idea that honesty is the best policy is true. It always has been and always will be. You’ll be much happier if you are honest with your roommates about your needs. If you find that you can’t stand having an unwelcome guest spending days on end at your place, speak up! Your roommate problems won’t go away if the other parties aren’t aware there’s an issue. Of course, you should be wise in approaching the conversation. Don’t barge into the room and demand that the guest leave. Find a time when it’s just the two of you to bring up the issue.Start with a line like, “Hey, your boyfriend has been here a few days now and while I like him, the situation is becoming inconvenient for me. I’d really like it if he left soon so it can be just us again.” Have a list of reasons why the guest has caused distress. Be open to questions and prepare for your roommate to get defensive. Be the calm one in the situation and you’ll carry no fault. That’s not to say you should turn into a noodle–be assertive.The danger of confronting your roommate is that the situation could get complicated. You may ask that their boyfriend or girlfriend comes over less, but that vagueness could lead to a plethora of additional questions.How much less? Should I be worried when he or she does come over? Will it be uncomfortable when he or she stops in? Avoid being vague and give options or suggest compromise. For example, you could propose that the guest stay every other night or that your roommate go to the boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment a few times a week.Furthermore, let your roommate know that you don’t necessarily dislike the guest (as long as it’s true); you just didn’t sign the lease with this person.
colchicine:
lots of good advice! one of my tricks is to write a letter or email to them if they keep storming off and won't let you say everything you want. it also helps me organize all of my thoughts in a calm environment so i can get everything down i want to say without them interrupting me and trying to side track the conversation. often in a verbal discussion i will forget to mention a lot of stuff i wanted to say, if you white or type it you can read it a couple times and make sure you got everything down. i also notice most people get a lot less mad/confrontational if they read a letter as opposed to a face to face discussion. you cant argue with a letter lol! the worst they can do is not finish reading it if they start getting mad, but for me people read the entire thing before reacting.
