Name change. No big reason, just grew bored with warlocklord.
When you don't really have any tears left to cry you might as well be happy.
jenya:
sometimes when you are the most depressed of all, you are unable to cry.............hard to be happy then 
In my darkest moments I take my blade and leave little marks of crimson upon my arm. Then a wave of calmness washes over me, and I can breathe again.
jenya:
awww........HUGS to you
How do you know if a girl is interested in you romantically? Will she let you know, or wait for you to make a movie? Ugh, I've never been very good at this stuff. Maybe I should just kiss her and see what happens. Yea, that sounds like the best way to find out.
jenya:
here are some good signs.............of course it depends on how well you know her, and what her personality is like, but.....
for me......
i look into their eyes a lot.....touch them (you know, like laugh at one of their jokes and hit them, or just touch them on the arm when i say HI, junk like that)
ask a lot of questions about them....ie....being interested in their lives.
am reluctant to want to stop being in their presence....no, not stalkerish style, but you can tell when someone is really WANTING to hang out with you for quite awhile, or if they are hanging.
and the Jenya way of fucking things up.............
just tell her how you feel............or ask her out on a date
for me......
i look into their eyes a lot.....touch them (you know, like laugh at one of their jokes and hit them, or just touch them on the arm when i say HI, junk like that)
ask a lot of questions about them....ie....being interested in their lives.
am reluctant to want to stop being in their presence....no, not stalkerish style, but you can tell when someone is really WANTING to hang out with you for quite awhile, or if they are hanging.
and the Jenya way of fucking things up.............
just tell her how you feel............or ask her out on a date
octoberseven:
I don't know. Even if she is I'll probably find some way of quashing that nicely. I have a knack for fucking things up.
Lately I've been hanging out with an old dear friend again. I've known her for around 13 years now, but didn't realize how much she means to me until she moved away last year. She recently moved back home with a newborn baby. We're closer now than we've ever been, though I'm not sure how it's going to develop from here. All I know is...
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jenya:
i love your eyebrow ring. i have been going back and forth about getting one.
i want one really bad, but i am afraid i will mess it up, cuz when i am stressed i rub my face a lot. but maybe i could just avoid that side.
i think they are cool
i want one really bad, but i am afraid i will mess it up, cuz when i am stressed i rub my face a lot. but maybe i could just avoid that side.
i think they are cool
octoberseven:
Thank you. They're not too bad once you get use to them being there.
I resent my parents for not caring and not better preparing me to go out into this world. I resent myself for being such a weakling too afraid and ill-equipped to step out on my own.
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jenya:
i know it's hard not to resent yourself........but like you said...your parents did not prepare you.
it's not your fault that you don't know how.
it sucks that you have to learn how to do it, on your own, at this age. i know, i have/am going through the same thing.
the best thing to help with this IMO is to have a support system.....friends etc. it's much easier to take those steps, when you know someone will help you to your feet if you fall.
it's not your fault that you don't know how.
it sucks that you have to learn how to do it, on your own, at this age. i know, i have/am going through the same thing.
the best thing to help with this IMO is to have a support system.....friends etc. it's much easier to take those steps, when you know someone will help you to your feet if you fall.
jenya:
perhaps we can figure out how to get a life together?
(well not a life together.....but .....eh....you know what i mean
)
(well not a life together.....but .....eh....you know what i mean
)Started working at the library today. It's volunteer, no pay, but that's alright. It's a few hours a week, it's close to my house,and it gives me something to do.
It's volunteer, no pay, but that's alright. It's a few hours a week, it's close to my house,and it gives me something to do. Saturday night and I'm sitting here at home, alone and bored out of my mind.
This time last year I had something resembling a social life. In the past year though all my friends have gotten married and/or had kids. So no one really has the time or is able to go out anymore. And so I'm kinda stuck here, in this little shithole town,...
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This time last year I had something resembling a social life. In the past year though all my friends have gotten married and/or had kids. So no one really has the time or is able to go out anymore. And so I'm kinda stuck here, in this little shithole town,...
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disme:
atleast your not in my boat sai... i am not even free 
talk about depressed.. try knowing the government owns you for the next 3 years. shitty pay, bad working conditions, no respect, no drugs, no easy way to meet girls, no car, no way to escape, ahlcoholism creeping up fast, not even remotely fitting in.... wow now i am depressed... which is odd didnt think i could be much more depressed but seems i am now.
talk about depressed.. try knowing the government owns you for the next 3 years. shitty pay, bad working conditions, no respect, no drugs, no easy way to meet girls, no car, no way to escape, ahlcoholism creeping up fast, not even remotely fitting in.... wow now i am depressed... which is odd didnt think i could be much more depressed but seems i am now.
Just in case anyone is wondering I'm still around and doing fairly well, I suppose.
redcrayon:
i actually was wondering.
-redcrayonkelly
-redcrayonkelly
octoberseven:
Nice to see someone was.
I've actually been feeling pretty good the past couple of days. Much better than I was in my last entry.
I feel like I'm about to breakdown. I've been on the verge of tears all day. I sometimes wonder if there's really much of a point to my continued existence.
radiobastet:
Uh-oh. Dude, please go to your phone directory and look under "counseling" and get some help. Please, please, please.
Sitting here late at night, alone, with only my thoughts. I am so tired but I cannot get to sleep. After having actually gotten a good night's rest the past couple of nights the insomnia kicks back in. When I try to lay down a thousand thoughts a second rush through my mind. Invaribly my thoughts turn to someone very close at heart, yet very...
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it really is a hybrid for me...a cross between my real name
Jen (duh).
and the name i WISH i had....Brenya, which is a song i love from A Perfect Circle, only they spell it differently.