I'm a mess 
I'm certain that I will never, ever be mr. calm and collected when it comes to fairer sex. I flip flop so much that I should consider a run for the oval office.
I'm a master at taking the slightest, more imperceptable event and turning them in to full-fledged worst case scenarios.
So I met this new woman and it's got me all fucked up. We me the other night and it went really well (so she assured me) but we've talked a few times on the phone and I've just been really speechless....I'm just too anxious to hang out with her more and I work better that way. I have a bad habit of just going mute on the phone...it's not that I'm unhappy but it's easier for me to go quiet and harder for me to stimulate conversation. I'm the kind of person that really does well on the phone with someone that loves to go on forever
Well....I've, of course, turned that into a ...she hates me and she'll never see me again type thing.
Last night I tossed and turned all night. (for one it was brutally hot)....I just had so much anxiety from too many loose ends and from having too many questions unanswered. I think I really like this woman but I'm not certain why. She is a great person but I wonder if deep down it's more of a fear of being alone. I kind of doubt it since just a few weeks earlier another woman expressed a real strong interest in me but I wasn't interested in her so that just fizzled out. I'm also worried about putting that much of my heart into someone. I'm still very trigger shy when it comes to relationships....I just sit and wait for my heart to get ripped out. Then I start thinking that I'm creating my own self-fulling prophecy....again, I'm such a relationship mess.
It's been about 2 years since I've really dated. and I've spent the better part of the last 10 years in just two long relationshps. I'm so bad at the early parts of dating...I would just love to fast forward to the old couple in the Winnibago driving cross-country thing.
So that's my rant....believe I left a lot of it out....why do I feel like Richard Belzer, I'm only 1/8th jewish?
I'm certain that I will never, ever be mr. calm and collected when it comes to fairer sex. I flip flop so much that I should consider a run for the oval office.
I'm a master at taking the slightest, more imperceptable event and turning them in to full-fledged worst case scenarios.
So I met this new woman and it's got me all fucked up. We me the other night and it went really well (so she assured me) but we've talked a few times on the phone and I've just been really speechless....I'm just too anxious to hang out with her more and I work better that way. I have a bad habit of just going mute on the phone...it's not that I'm unhappy but it's easier for me to go quiet and harder for me to stimulate conversation. I'm the kind of person that really does well on the phone with someone that loves to go on forever
Well....I've, of course, turned that into a ...she hates me and she'll never see me again type thing.
Last night I tossed and turned all night. (for one it was brutally hot)....I just had so much anxiety from too many loose ends and from having too many questions unanswered. I think I really like this woman but I'm not certain why. She is a great person but I wonder if deep down it's more of a fear of being alone. I kind of doubt it since just a few weeks earlier another woman expressed a real strong interest in me but I wasn't interested in her so that just fizzled out. I'm also worried about putting that much of my heart into someone. I'm still very trigger shy when it comes to relationships....I just sit and wait for my heart to get ripped out. Then I start thinking that I'm creating my own self-fulling prophecy....again, I'm such a relationship mess.
It's been about 2 years since I've really dated. and I've spent the better part of the last 10 years in just two long relationshps. I'm so bad at the early parts of dating...I would just love to fast forward to the old couple in the Winnibago driving cross-country thing.
So that's my rant....believe I left a lot of it out....why do I feel like Richard Belzer, I'm only 1/8th jewish?
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I know by virtue of having screwed up so many times, I guess.
I'm off to sleep.
love you.