The world is now a much worse place without you....
About 4 hours ago I came home to find my roommate and the best friend I've ever had dead. Amanda Ellen Bogard died apparently from an accidental overdose of allergy medicine and possibly some sleep aids or some combination. Amanda was 34 years old, far too young to die as well as far too good of a person for me to have ever known.
There is no possible way my pathetic words can ever describe how much she means to me. Since I've known her, Amanda was there to bail me out of just about every one of my pathetic failings.
There was never a story that I couldn't lay on her...there was never a time when she couldn't cheer me up even just a little bit. The hurt and loss I feel right now is something I hope nobody ever feels.
There was no long illness or an evil criminal to blame for this. Amanda simply had trouble sleeping and was fighting off a cold. I was concerned that she slept so much thursday and into friday but I was sick myself and slept for about 16 hours. All friday I could here here snoring loudly and uncomfortably...something she only did when was extremely congested. However there was a difference in that there were times when it sounded like she was almost crying in her sleep. I figured that she was sleeping off whatever illness her (and I) had and that maybe she was having a bad nightmare at the same time. She was notorious for having unpredictable sleeping habits. When I arrived home I knew something was a bit wrong and god how I wish I was never more wrong in my life.
Every single aspect of my life was positvely affected by Amanda. There is nothing I have and nothing that I am that I can't relate directly to her. All of that feels gone now or at least useless without her. I feel so guilty to have anything or to even continue without her and what's the point or it? Without her to share it with it's all hollow and meaningless.
I always wanted so much for her and that I think far too often it manifested it self in frustration. I only wish that for every time I lost some patience with her I could go back and be encouraging instead.
Mandy....I love you so very much and I miss you like nobody will ever understand. No words could ever represent that magnitude of those statements. You were an amazing person and you made me a much better person. I only wish that I could have had the same impact on you. I'd give anything to have more time with you.
About 4 hours ago I came home to find my roommate and the best friend I've ever had dead. Amanda Ellen Bogard died apparently from an accidental overdose of allergy medicine and possibly some sleep aids or some combination. Amanda was 34 years old, far too young to die as well as far too good of a person for me to have ever known.
There is no possible way my pathetic words can ever describe how much she means to me. Since I've known her, Amanda was there to bail me out of just about every one of my pathetic failings.
There was never a story that I couldn't lay on her...there was never a time when she couldn't cheer me up even just a little bit. The hurt and loss I feel right now is something I hope nobody ever feels.
There was no long illness or an evil criminal to blame for this. Amanda simply had trouble sleeping and was fighting off a cold. I was concerned that she slept so much thursday and into friday but I was sick myself and slept for about 16 hours. All friday I could here here snoring loudly and uncomfortably...something she only did when was extremely congested. However there was a difference in that there were times when it sounded like she was almost crying in her sleep. I figured that she was sleeping off whatever illness her (and I) had and that maybe she was having a bad nightmare at the same time. She was notorious for having unpredictable sleeping habits. When I arrived home I knew something was a bit wrong and god how I wish I was never more wrong in my life.
Every single aspect of my life was positvely affected by Amanda. There is nothing I have and nothing that I am that I can't relate directly to her. All of that feels gone now or at least useless without her. I feel so guilty to have anything or to even continue without her and what's the point or it? Without her to share it with it's all hollow and meaningless.
I always wanted so much for her and that I think far too often it manifested it self in frustration. I only wish that for every time I lost some patience with her I could go back and be encouraging instead.
Mandy....I love you so very much and I miss you like nobody will ever understand. No words could ever represent that magnitude of those statements. You were an amazing person and you made me a much better person. I only wish that I could have had the same impact on you. I'd give anything to have more time with you.
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
hellomrworld:
i am so sorry for your loss ... my best wishes to you .. that is unbelievably sad 
((
((
comradebuttons:
I'm so sorry, sweetie.