obsidity

ahh.
I good lovin.
I tried to explain last night how I know that he and I have pretty different lives right now,but that I am realizing that he is important to me and that I am understanding that I need to relenquish the control I have had over my feelings for him,
He said "relenquish away!"
I'm so nervous that I am wrong. That it is really just a passing infatuation made more enticing by the fact that I never see him. But I have to find out, right? the only way to do that is to spend a little bit more time and see how it feels.
There is noone else in my life that I feel like this around, I just can't get enough of being held.
We just stand and hold each other sometimes. It assuages the deep seated feeling of complete despair in this hole that once was my heart.