oak

I woke up in a dingy Motel 6 room with a headache borne of too much wine, whiskey, and scotch that pounded away like I had in my drumming earlier in the day. I heard the shower running, but wasn't sure who was in there .... I had a pretty good idea, though. I looked to my left, and the girl sleeping next to me was still beautiful. She was also still fully clothed; I was in my briefs. Could have been better, but it damn sure could have been worse, as well. I didn't have the strength to more fully investigate the situation, so I let it be, and went back to sleep, but not deeply.

Not long after, Mark came out of the shower, confirming my guess, and then he went straight for the door of the room without saying a word to me or the other 3 occupants. Once again, I went back to sleep.

Some time later (and I have no idea how much later), one of the girls in the other bed got up, mumbling about having to make it to work on time, and waddled out the door. No sound came from anyone else.

Once again, I woke up, and the headache was abating. The surprise this time was that the girl next to me was now curled up against me, and I had my arms around her. I was pretty sure that hadn't been the situation the first times I woke up, but I couldn't remember for sure. I got up and got in the shower myself. I didn't notice until I got out that there was only one towel in there, so I had to dry off with Mark's wet towel.

The hot girl (Melissa? I can't fucking remember) was now awake, smoking a cigarette, and watching NASCAR. I got back in bed, now dressed myself and having brushed my teeth.

"Christ ... I feel like cold, stale dog shit."

"Silly boy, you should know better than to mix different liquors."

That jogged the memory of sitting on the floor of the bathroom I just came out of puking my guts up shortly after going to bed.

"Of course I know better; I'm a professional. I think my amounts were just a little off."

Wait a minute. Where the hell is Mark?

"Where did Mark go?"

"Beats the hell out of me, I better call him and make sure he's okay. I don't even know what time he left. One of your friends is gone, too, by the way. I think she said something about going to work."

"Oh .... yeah."

I went out the front door, knowing some privacy would be required. "Mark! Where hell are you?"

"Oh, hey man. You still at the hotel?"

"Yeah ... my suitcase is here, too. I took a shower and got dressed."

"Yeah, you brought our bags in with the Scotch and beer last night when we got there."

"Hmm ... if you say so. But stop dodging the question: where the hell are you? I'm trapped with a chainsmoker watching NASCAR and some fat chick in the other bed that isn't moving."

"I'm across the street at the diner, having some breakfast. You want me to come get you?"

"I could eat. Let me get back inside and try to make some more sense of what happened last night."

"Nothing fucking happened, man .... you puked and then passed out in bed with the hot chick, and I had to sleep between those 2 fat chicks, who kept asking me stuff like, `Have you ever been with a big girl before? How about 2?'"

"Jesus Christ, man. That's an emergency situation, and I wasn't there for you. A true failing in friendship."

"It's not too big a deal, I just kept telling them how tired I was, and that I had to get some sleep before today; they eventually gave up and fell asleep. I couldn't sleep, though -- I was scared to death that they were going to molest me in my sleep. Are they still there, too?"

"One of them left, had to go to work or something ... the Ringleader is passed the fuck out, though. Anyways, I'm going back in there to see what's going on with this hot chick I was sleeping next to. I had my arms around her when I woke up, but she still had all her clothes on, except her shoes."

"Yeah, I noticed she went to sleep fully dressed last night. You can't blame her, I wouldn't undress to get in bed with a savage like you."

"Oh, I wasn't offended, just a little disappointed. So be it. I'll call again in a few."

I went back in and finished packing my suitcase. She watched me, a little nervous, I think. I got back in bed.

"He's across the street, eating breakfast." I pretended to be interested in the race. I fucking hate NASCAR, but some car racing is better than no car racing, and what the hell? She was hot.

"Oh ... are you going over there?"

"In a bit. I'm in no hurry." I put my arm around her, and she scooted closer and laid her head on my chest, and kept watching TV. I was hoping for a little more action, but that was all I got. After the race, I called Mark and then got up and headed for the door. She wanted to come along, but couldn't wake up her friend, the Ringleader, and apparently didn't like me enough to abandon her. That girl wasn't moving at all. Hell, for all I know, the girl was dead of alcohol poisoning; however, I'm pretty sure I was the only one that had had enough to drink to really be in danger of that, so I split.

Mark was waiting outside in the car, engine running, Tenacious D on the stereo. I threw my suitcase in back and we went back over to the diner so I could fuel up to face the day.

"Any luck?"

"Nah, she just snuggled up to me and kept smoking and watching NASCAR. I wasn't in any hurry to leave, though ... the Ringleader wasn't budging, and that girl was as hot this morning as she was last night, so what the hell, right?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't have been in any hurry to leave either, in your case. I was stuck with those fat chicks, though, and I was scared they were going to rape me or something if I fell asleep. Don't they know that no means no?"

"What a horror show. Why the hell couldn't we have found 3 hot chicks that wanted us to crash in their motel room, instead of 1 hot chick with 2 completely unattractive friends?"

"I don't know, man. I guess we're just not that lucky. Hey, wait a minute, though -- what the hell was going on with those other people you left with, and then came back?"

"Ah, man, what a bust. That girl that I initially thought was so hot in that group? Well, she was the girlfriend of that dude they were all with. Those other 2 girls wanted to go across the street and see if that other bar was still open, so I walked them over there. The boyfriend guy and his girlfriend told me to 'take care of them' and all that kind of nonsense. I don't know why the hell he trusted me, since I was obviously blind drunk already, but I assured him that I was a professional and worked in a bar in Chicago, and that all would be well. For some dumb reason, he bought that line and drove off. Maybe because he was drunk, too? Beats me. But anyways, the other girl in that group that I thought was hot, turned out to be married. Typical. They wouldn't let us in the other bar anyway, though, so we came back to the original joint just as they were throwing all the rest of you out. Hell, I don't even remember walking back over there, but I do sort of remember being back there when you guys were coming out. Hell, for that matter, I don't remember walking back to the hotel."

"Walking? Shit, man, you drove my car back. Told me you were in better shape than I was, and I should let you drive."

"Christ, man, and you believed me? Nonsense. Ah, well, it was only about 150 yards, and we made it in one piece, right?"

"Yeah ... one piece. Hah! God, what a night."

Indeed.