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nyghtwish

Member Since 2004

Followers 42 Following 47

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Sunday Apr 03, 2005

Apr 3, 2005
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It's very early on my ex-boyfriend's 19th birthday. I'm a little sad, I have to admit. He's celebrating with someone else and not me. I know, stupid. It's just going to take a while to completely get over him.

I had a pretty nice weekend at home. It was nice to hang out with my family, but a little bittersweet. Usually I'd be coming home for the summer at the end of April...but not this year. And never again. *Sigh* Growing up kinda sucks ass.

I got to hang out with my best friend while I was home, which happens much too rarely. She's busy, I'm busy...but at least we both know the other one is always there in spirit. Seriously, this girl has been my best friend since I was eight. It would take a whole heck of a lot to break down that friendship. And that's really nice, you know?

There was one pretty heartbreaking event aside from the realization that I'm not moving home again...I found out that the mother of one of my best friends from grade school passed away last summer. See, I was friends with this girl from age 7 to sometime in high school. She transferred to another school, moved away, and we got so bogged down with our lives at that point, it was unrecoverable. So we've kept somewhat in contact, but very little.

Anyway, I feel like an ass for not knowing before now. How did I miss this? Taylor and I spent many summers together going to summer camp, having our first job together, doing volunteer work, swimming on the community team...and her mom was there every step of the way. Apparently it was cancer, which makes me feel like even more of an ass because she had been sick for a while and I didn't even know that much! God. It's horrible enough that her mother died, but add to that I'm eight months late with my condolences!

I don't really know how to go about talking to her. I want to write her and let her know that I am so sorry and I just found out and that my family and I are always around for her if she needs anything. But that seems so...wrong, being this late. She's trying to live her life, she's still in school and doing her thing. I don't know if I want to conjure up those feelings when I'm sure she's trying to put them away as best as she can. I wish there was some easy way to tell her. But there isn't, really, I don't think. It's a terrible thing.

I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing next year. All of a sudden, things seem to be falling through. My roommate who originally offered to pay up to $700 for a master suite with a private bath is now saying that she doesn't want to pay more than $50 more than my other roommate and I per month for the bathroom. So...the place we were looking at for $1200, she wants to pay $450, have either me or Minda (whomever gets the big room) to pay $400 and whoever gets the small room to pay $350. That just doesn't seem fair. Why should she only pay $100 more than someone who has a much smaller room and no bathroom? I dunno. I think she should pay $500 and Minda and I should pay $350. So now the problem is that neither Minda nor I think we can afford $400/month. But Gwynne won't settle for crappier places. Which is asinine. Dumb bitches. I'm getting so sick of this. Minda doesn't want to pay more than $300/month. I don't even have a job, I have no idea what I'll be able to afford. My parents said they're giving the car to me for graduation, so I don't have to take over payments, which helps a lot. But still...

I'm applying for a job as a studio assistant at a photography company. I'm hoping it'll build skills of some sort. We'll see about that...
lifeimagenary:
I know how you feel with the whole Ex thing my on/off, now open relationship gurl changes her mind every other day on weather or not we are together or not and I've just come to the point of what ever. Like the Song goes" what do I care just as long as you were mine a little while".

the room mate sit, sounds like a mess. It suck when One person won't comp, just to get what they want in sted of thing what's the best for my roommates and I.

Well I hope all goes well with the housein thing and good luck with the Studio Assis hope you get it. sounds like fun

smile
Apr 6, 2005
xanotherdeadhero:
i as well know how you fell with the whole ex thing......but im not going to talk about that.

good luck with getting a place. wont settle for a crappier place? i would just get the crappiest place possible while still being able to live there.....you know, no places with only three walls or ancient evil curses.
Apr 6, 2005

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