notraps_spiltoh

inspirational bullshit... someone stole my qur'an.

I am my word. I know words have power. They are energized by my spirit and help create my life experience.
I will not take anything personally. I know that everyone is on their own path of self discovery. Their reactions are not about me but beliefs about themselves.
I will not make assumptions but be courageous and ask...
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"your life reminds me of a crooked picture on someone elses wall...
no matter how bad i want to fix it and know i can... i don't...
it just sits there and frustrates me... because i know it isn't right..."

someone sent that to me.
first thing i read when i woke up.

Nightmare.
Vivid life, like terrifying dreams and call the dreamer of the Dead.
Chased for the light by the unknown during which the dream increases.
Blood pumps. Temperature rises.
The episode is common with the innocent children, like following the traumatic events such as death or demise.
Rare cases require treatment and some go through for fear of all fears.
A subconscious mind. A dark...
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???

i am going to bitch.

have i made a mistake?
is it too early to tell?
is it too late to prevent it?
maybe im just "hypersensitive"
seeing this bullshit and going to sleep is one thing.
but waking up to it is another story.

my body hates me.
i hate my body at this point.
the feeling is mutual.
im pushing it to all...
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ive never missed anyone this much in my life.

oliver leaves for treatment next week.

ray and i made fried chicken last night.
like 50 pieces.
half his family was here.
we had a dance off in the kitchen.
ray can clap his ass better than anyone in the world.
we were going to make a video with stevon.
it's better that i am here...
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last night i took part in a nightmare.
i was in a plane taking off from ontario, headed for rhode island, with my brother. My father and stephanie dropped us off at the aeroport. i remembering arguing with my father over why we were flying to rhode island. oliver and i got on the plane. shortly after take off we were experiencing really bad turbulence....
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mmm.
my skateboard broke my legs today.
i told you it'd be angry.
walking about 8 miles on top of that wasn't helpful.
so i was cooking my arroz and i burnt my arm w/ the steam.
there is no word in the english language that can adequitely describe the level of terror i am currently experiencing.
im supposed to be in texas right now....
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i need to go make sure my brother is still alive.
right now, im in very rare form... i actually wish my mother hadn't cashed in.
maybe it will be easier when i have to raise my own kids.
i still wouldnt trade him for anything in the world.