northern

One of the groups I volunteer for raises some money by providing some volunteers at the local bingo hall once a month. Last night was our night, and I was one of the volunteers.

I'm very introverted and not exactly a people person, so that kind of volunteer work - dealing with the public - is very difficult for me. I usually volunteer by sitting on boards and committees, where I deal with a small group of people, in a quiet atmosphere, just doing things that are easy for me, like making decisions about programs, funding, staffing, etc.

But dealing with the public, in a busy place like a bingo hall, is pretty hellish for me.

I sign up to do it, because, well, I feel an obligation to the organization, and we make some pretty decent money for a few hours of work. So I look at it as a job, and tell myself that I have no choice.

I know a few weeks ahead of time that I'll be doing it, and the anxiety builds over the weeks until the night of the bingo. I feel nervous, nauseous, and it's all I can do to stave off a panic attack.

Afterwards, I feel a great deal of satisfaction about having faced my fears and done it.

Of course, then I start to look ahead to the following month and the cycle starts again.