yes, I know I'm way behind responding to comments. sorry sorry. this is important.
on monday, I talked with my social worker about coping with life being okay.
quite honestly, this is a shocking and terrifying subject for me. just a couple of weeks ago I would have been so offended at the suggestion that I am more comfortable in misery that I would have rejected it outright. as it is, after several years of trauma, I've come to expect the worst. I now need to make an active effort, live purposefully and consciously to be a happy person.
and it's really scray to me, because I don't know that I'm strong enough. I don't know that I'm brave enough. it''s every day making the decision to be okay.
on monday, I talked with my social worker about coping with life being okay.
quite honestly, this is a shocking and terrifying subject for me. just a couple of weeks ago I would have been so offended at the suggestion that I am more comfortable in misery that I would have rejected it outright. as it is, after several years of trauma, I've come to expect the worst. I now need to make an active effort, live purposefully and consciously to be a happy person.
and it's really scray to me, because I don't know that I'm strong enough. I don't know that I'm brave enough. it''s every day making the decision to be okay.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
giggles:
you'll pull through, you're stronger than you think
kozmikgirl:
Yeah, I mean, like, I am sitting here typing this & feeling on edge like any minute I am either going to get sick or something else bad is going to happen. This is how I am all the time since I first got sick. I am constantely in fear like that & I need to be ok with things being ok too. How to do it though, I just don't know.
