nexttuesday

I want time to figure out who I am
I want time to make peace with religion
I want time to learn to love myself
I want time to understand myself
I want time to pick up the guitar again
I want time to crochet more
I want time to sit with my friends and let them know how much I value them
I want time to do yoga without feeling rushed
I want time to make peace with myself
I want time to meditate
I want time to spend with Greggy before he leaves for good
I want time to relax
I want time to sit outside on a warm day and just enjoy the fact that I am outside
I want time to explain what is going on in my head to my loved ones and make them understand
I want time to find happiness

And God if I dont find the time soon I fear the end result. My mental stability is non-exsistant. I'm not okay. I have a long road to being okay. I dont want help. I need to do this on my own or I will never be okay. I dont think this is even all of it. This is just whats running through my head this morning as I sit here with a heavy heart, a lump in my throat, and tears in my eyes. I am forgetting how to function.