nexttuesday

UPDATE: OMG I LOVE HIGH SPEED INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Mr. HPCM,

I want you to understand my problem but I cant explain it quite right. So today I have been researching for something to help you understand and I think this will. While some of her reasons are different than mine it is the same concept. It's really long for that Im sorry but I would like it if you would read it HPCM. The rest of you prolly wont know what and the hell this entry means, sorry.

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By Dr. Carol Look
Lisa came in to her session upset because a number of her friends had confronted her about never returning their phone calls. They were disappointed in her and said she wasnt being a good enough friend. I asked Lisa why she didnt return calls, and she started telling me about her emotional history with cell phones.

Lisa described herself as essentially phobic about her cell phone. She reported having nothing but negative associations with it. I associate it with death. It always brings bad news. She reported that whenever it rang, she winced, her heart raced and she had to fight a feeling of dread.

Lisa had been called on her cell phone when her mother was rushed to the hospital last year. She had found six messages on her cell phone when she turned it on after being at work. When she arrived at the hospital, her mother had died. It was totally unexpected and a shock to everyone. (We had already done extensive tapping for her grief, so she wanted to stay focused on her phone issue.) We tapped as follows:

Even though my cell phone reminds me of deathand of my mother, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I avoid answering my phone because I dont want any more bad news, I deeply and completely accept my behavior.

Even though my friends are mad at me because I dont return their calls, Im OK.

Even though I feel dread and panic when my phone rings, I choose to feel calm.

I asked Lisa what other negative reminders were associated with her phone. She told me that when her boyfriends parents died in a tragic accident two years ago, he couldnt reach her because she did NOT have a cell phone. She said it was just another association with phone calls and death.

Even though I expect to get bad news when my cell phone rings, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Even though Im afraid to answer my cell phone, I completely accept myself anyway.

Lisa remembered more bad news linked to her phone. Last month the brother of a good friend was killed in a car accident, and she found out by answering my phone. She continued searching for other negative links and found another obvious one: 6 months after her mother died, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and she heard the news by answering my cell phone. We tapped to clear these connections.

I asked Lisa why else she avoided her phone. Her response provided more tapping opportunities:

I feel so invaded. People just bother me and they can get to me whenever they want. And I feel the pressure to have answers for them right away when they ask me to join them for a social occasion. We tapped again:

Even though I dont have any privacy anymore, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I dont feel safe because I have a cell phone, I deeply accept my feelings.

Even though the calls feel intrusive, I choose to feel free and safe.

Even though I hide by not answering my phone, I accept my feelings and behavior.

Lisa jumped at the word free. She said she didnt feel free anymore, and never felt free to say no to people when they put her on the spot.

We tapped a few more rounds on safety and freedom.

Even though I want them to leave me alone, I choose to feel safe and to love myself.

Even though I want to be in control, I choose to feel confident about saying no.

Even though I dont want to be forced to say no, I accept my behavior and feelings.

Even though Im afraid they wont like me, I deeply and completely accept my fears.

I tested Lisa by calling her cell phone number from my office phone. She said she felt much more comfortable looking at the phone, hearing it ring, and picking it up.

Throughout the session, Lisa was amazed at how powerful her negative associations had been. Its just a little dumb phone. She felt better about her fears, the associations, the expectation of bad news, and felt confident she would be open to answering her phone on a regular basis. She did not feel the need to tap for any grief work, as we had already worked on that successfully since her mothers death.

Two weeks later, Lisa came back for a session and reported that her cell phone problem was a million per cent better! She couldnt believe what the tapping had changed for her. She was answering all her calls, returning messages, and being direct when people asked her questions. She felt proud of herself because she answered a call on her way to my office and was able to tell the person she couldnt talk because she had an appointment. No more hiding and lying anymoreand I feel free. Her final words were, Can we work on my problem with driving next time??
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So this is basically it. Like I said some of my problem is from slightly different issues. But dread of bad news and pressure are definately two big parts of it. Another is I dont like to hear myself on the phone. I can always hear a trace of a speech impediment I had as a child and it makes me feel stupid. Also, I am so panicked over it that my mind goes blank and I usually cant find anything to say which makes me feel really awkward. Unfortunately tapping doesnt work as well for me as it did for the lady in the article. It does help a bit though. Mostly I just need time to get used to someone calling me. Most of my friends will leave me a vm to let me know what they want. That way I prepare myself for the conversation and dont get as panicky. Weird huh? I feel slightly embarassed by my fault but life goes on and I think it's better if I try to help you understand it.

running away now...