There's nothing like offspring to make you feel like a whiney, selfish loser. I must remember things could ALWAYS be worse. I am not the most important person in my life. My happiness is important but not as important as his... and he is happy so I must be doing something right right?
D and I ended up having a long-term life plan discussion on sunday. He has decided that he does indeed want to go back to grad school... as I do. Unfortunately, we're not sure how to go about it. How do two people both go to grad school and support a child? It's gonna be hard. For one thing, having full time income will not be an option but, hopefully, there will be financial aid. D is lucky enough to be going into an area whereby most schools will pay to have him study there (grants, TAships, living stipends, etc.) I will not be so lucky. Also, the best schools are not here. We're going to have to move... most likely to CA or the east coast. What then do we do about my/our kid? His father is certainly not going to move with me and D. It's probably going to end up being a school year here, summer there type situation for about 5 years. Of course, D and I will take every school break to come home and visit too. Everyone says it's a bad time to do this but, when will it be a good time? He's 8 now and by the time we're done he'll just be starting high school. I'd rather do it now than then. I think K can understand why we have to go to school. I grew up in two separate homes and I love both my parents equally. Yes, it was hard. But I want to do this so I can offer K a secure future. I want to do it and move back so I can be with all of my family, so I can save $ for his future and mine, so I can have a job I worked for and like! Fuck cleaning houses!
D and I ended up having a long-term life plan discussion on sunday. He has decided that he does indeed want to go back to grad school... as I do. Unfortunately, we're not sure how to go about it. How do two people both go to grad school and support a child? It's gonna be hard. For one thing, having full time income will not be an option but, hopefully, there will be financial aid. D is lucky enough to be going into an area whereby most schools will pay to have him study there (grants, TAships, living stipends, etc.) I will not be so lucky. Also, the best schools are not here. We're going to have to move... most likely to CA or the east coast. What then do we do about my/our kid? His father is certainly not going to move with me and D. It's probably going to end up being a school year here, summer there type situation for about 5 years. Of course, D and I will take every school break to come home and visit too. Everyone says it's a bad time to do this but, when will it be a good time? He's 8 now and by the time we're done he'll just be starting high school. I'd rather do it now than then. I think K can understand why we have to go to school. I grew up in two separate homes and I love both my parents equally. Yes, it was hard. But I want to do this so I can offer K a secure future. I want to do it and move back so I can be with all of my family, so I can save $ for his future and mine, so I can have a job I worked for and like! Fuck cleaning houses!
mistersatan:
Trust me, I know how you feel.