necrocide

i'm in a weird mood... when i'm pretty apathetic about everything, i can at least tell if i'm either more content or bitter... right now i can't even much say i'm apathetic, i just feel really... nothing....

i took some sleeping pills last night so i could get on a normal sleep cycle... they tend to get outta control when i'm out of school and not working.... so it helped me get to sleep earlier but i still woke up late... and i feel rather morphined out, for lack of a better phrase... and i just dont feel like doing anything...

i was supposed to be at band practice a while ago... but i think my bass player is getting to hyped up about this band thing too early... he has actual ambitions to go somewhere with the band, i'm playing because i love music and i'm having fun... we have a "gig" this friday... its really just a small house party, and yet, no singer or drummer as of lately, and still wants to do it... and he made a fuckin setlist... its like... jeez... easy there hombre..... and i have no way of nicely tellin him to relax about all of this

other than that... what have i not spoken about..... well...

i finally told my friend, one of my best friends, that i loved his sister... the thing is i'm too late... and she actually started dating someone else... but my friend didn't react how i thought, he took it well... and the strange thing is hes been acting closer towards me ever since i told him... and this guy she is with... total jackass... and not just cuz i have a biased opinion... but he's really a fuckin douche bag... but what am i gonna do? i wanna crush his skull in... but if she can't see what a prick he is... then i'm really at a loss of words and shes not what i thought she was... but anyway... i'm on a quest to get laid and to NOT turn all emo about this... i really don't like that whole fuckin emo thing...