necrocide

i can't decide tonight if i am in denial of a bitter mood or if i'm negatively content... i feel very negative but have little desire to dwell on it......

i've come to some conclusions that sound very bitter and nihilistic

i no longer believe in fate... i used to... i felt like we make our own decisions but that everything happens for a reason... now i just don't care... i'm usually very openminded and wonderous about things that happen... now i feel like everything just is and for no true reason... anything strangely connected is a coincidence... and who says that coincidences are an unnatural phenomenon in the universe?

i no longer see something that reminds me of something else as a sign... for a decision or action.... i'm very indecisive and i would basically look for things around me to make decisions for me... no more.... i need to be more realistic

misty won't be mine... but i think i can let go now... i would have done anything for her... i hope maybe she just realizes that someday

i'm done