Signs That You Might Be Too Canadian For Your Own Good: (eh.)
* You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as "for children and the elderly, and for export to the US."
* You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
* You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
* You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold".
* Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you probably don't have a Canadian passport, or if you do, you can't find it.
* You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added," thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
* You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada, and you make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
* You use a tennis ball more for road hockey and dog chasing than for tennis.
* You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseated.
* You know what a touque is and probably own one.
* You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
* You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.
* You know Toronto is not a province.
* You drink Moosehead beer because of the moose.
* Back bacon is a food group.
* You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk"
* You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, just spilled my poutine."
* You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
* You drink pop, not soda.
*You know that "a mickey" and "2-4's" mean "party at the cabin, eh!!"
* You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
* You can drink legally while still a 'teen'.
* You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.
* When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
* Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
* You have Canadian Tire money.
* You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
* You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the U.S. and burn its capitol to the ground.
* You voted for a political leader who admitted to smoking pot.
* You laugh afterward at some U.S. citizens' lack of knowledge of Canadian geography, but you are too polite to correct them.
* You read rather than scanned this list and looked for spelling and grammatical errors.
* You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as "for children and the elderly, and for export to the US."
* You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
* You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
* You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold".
* Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you probably don't have a Canadian passport, or if you do, you can't find it.
* You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added," thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
* You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada, and you make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
* You use a tennis ball more for road hockey and dog chasing than for tennis.
* You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseated.
* You know what a touque is and probably own one.
* You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
* You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.
* You know Toronto is not a province.
* You drink Moosehead beer because of the moose.
* Back bacon is a food group.
* You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk"
* You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, just spilled my poutine."
* You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
* You drink pop, not soda.
*You know that "a mickey" and "2-4's" mean "party at the cabin, eh!!"
* You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
* You can drink legally while still a 'teen'.
* You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.
* When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
* Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
* You have Canadian Tire money.
* You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
* You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the U.S. and burn its capitol to the ground.
* You voted for a political leader who admitted to smoking pot.
* You laugh afterward at some U.S. citizens' lack of knowledge of Canadian geography, but you are too polite to correct them.
* You read rather than scanned this list and looked for spelling and grammatical errors.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
The macaroni/caterpillar juxtaposition is eerily, creepily satisfying. Thank you.