nali

Feel the Fire, Taste the Heat

Mayonaise: Brown, soft warm substance found in the pickle jars and cereal aisles of many places. Mayonaise usually emits no odour but may smell a little strong if left out in the sun or lost deodorant crystal while camping. Mayonaise is only dangerous if cornered, unabashedly drunk or racially provoked; so pretty much 86% of the time if mayonaise is not familiar with you.
Mayonaise is best enjoyed out-of-doors.
Warning! Talking smack about Darla may cause mayonaise to snap! which may result in injury or death.



B is for Birthday And The Name Of The Girlfriend You Have To Hide Your Presents From!

Giving is easy. My friend is a pirate and profusely pillaging proprietor of philth! So what better gift then a pirate chest?!!




I couldn't find a chest, so I used a box instead:



It wasn't Piratey enough, so I added some sand, shells, snakeskins and bones:





I stuck it together and added a homemade pirate flag:











But what good is an empty Chest?



So I filled it with things a might like:

Booze!



Comical Beer Stein!



Sailing Pirate Themed Birthday Card





With Wench:



A Rat!



Skeletons!





Buttons:



Extra Pirate Garrrrrrrrrrrrb:



Gold Coins!



And when it was all said and done, it looked a little something like this:



Of course, no gift is complete without explosives; unfortunately I do not have easy access to said explosives so I had to top it off w/sparklers and love!



N.