naja_haje

• convinced my friend to wear his crab bib to a meat market bar with awesome results.


• hit on ladies as an autistic '76 Sonics fan who happens to know that Tears for Fears is making a come back, big time.


• was attacked by pterodactyls on my 50 plus block walk cause I don't have time to fuck around at a bus stop.


• was not afraid of no ghost.


• tended bar in my friend's bar in his basement.


• by tended I mean devastated three bottles of vodka and bit a lemon in half because I couldn't find any fucking knives.


• discovered the surface pressure required to bite through a lime is almost enough to bust a toof.


• demanded my friend's wife remove her shirt, which she did, only to reveal three more layers of shirts just to fuck with my mind.


• became swept up in a wave of undirected revelry which culminated in ten minutes of screaming and pounding the bar amongst a group of twenty of the happiest fuckers I've seen in a long time.


• made some flawless vodka gimlets.


• refused to eat pot butter rice krispies but shoved half a pan down the guest of honor's throat.


• lost track of host.


• found host asleep and roused him for round two by screeching like a pterodactyl in between the guest of honor's repeated babbling about content forgotten in a furious tag team assault that left us both rolling on the floor.


• followed the guest of honor around and destroyed him with nonsense until tears were streaming down his face.


• missed one of my friend's punching another so hard he destroyed the barstool he was sitting on.


• missed a girl show up in eighties attire, because no one told her it wasn't going to be an eighties themed party, which was absolutely hilarious to everyone but her.


• saw her later after she returned from having gone home to change out of the outfit she had been thrifstore shopping for and planning for two weeks completely scarred for life.


• said something about free range weenies that caused the guest of honor to choke with laughter and vomit.


• followed him into the bathroom and kept him laughing as he was vomiting.


• realized the only reason we could make each other laugh so hard is because we are great fucking friends.


• unanimously agreed that was the best damn party we've thrown in a year.


• outlasted everyone despite never having been without a gimlet.


• managed to wake up feeling fabulous and refreshed.


• sent my friend off in style.

I've been feeling exceptionally great lately. What is strange is that I have nothing to really attribute it too. Maybe I'm blissed out from all of the brain cells I've no doubt laid waste to.

Fuck 'em. They must've been the ones whose job was to trigger self-doubt, regret, and anxiety anyway. Sometimes you've got to prune in order to promote fresh growth.

In a slightly related subject I heard that acts of kindness stimulate serotonin production.