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naja_haje

squalorville USA

Member Since 2003

Followers 49 Following 65

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Friday Jul 30, 2004

Jul 30, 2004
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Dear Portland, God, or the filthy rich,

I could really use a swank house with a pool or hot tub. A fresh lawn of spongee Kentucky bluegrass and a Slip N' Slide or Wet Banana will also suffice, but only if I am being served chilled vodka soaked watermelon by the SeaMonkeys*.
Is a personal sushi chef too much to ask for? I didn't think so either. So where the fuck is my friggin nigiri?
DON'T FORGET THE AC BITCH! The only time it should be 90 when I'm sleeping is when I stumble out of the hot tub and ass out on the lawn.

p.s. I need this shirt, don't ask why.



*my personal assistants/ harem.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
hansel:
People are swell. Really, really swell. They're greatest parts come out when they feel confused, entitled or anonymous.

I knew it was time to get out of customer service when "I don't know" became my most intelligent and acceptable response to a question.
Aug 4, 2004
black_tar_heroin:
I CAN GIVE YOU A FAKE MC WITH A GANGSTER LEAN
Aug 5, 2004

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