naja_haje

I've started to write this several times and I keep erasing I keep erasing because I am still grieving and searching through my memories and emotions to even come to something that I can possibly write that would bring closure but I can't sorry for the run ons but this all has to come out at once

a good friend a father figure died several days ago in my home town from a house fire. two men died i knew them both. both were incredible men they were gifted musicians the one i knew well taught me how to play guitar in my mid teens. He was known for his incredible sense of humor and that bastard always made me laugh and like every great person that leaves an impression I wanted to be as good as him I wanted him to be proud of me I wanted to be his equal without taking anything away from him. He left two teenage kids behind he was only 44 and it is so fucking unfair I didnt get to say goodbye to him. I havent seen him in two years and all my friends from there are pulling together and grieving and I feel so shitty that I wasnt able to be there.