To attract the love of a certain person-
You will need:
- Three hairs of the person you desire
- Three of your hairs
- A length of red wool yarn
- Three bay leaves
- A few grams of Vervain
Instructions:
Bind the three hairs of your love, with the three of your own hairs, with the length of red wool yarn while pronouncing the following words:
Rue Sanctus spiritus reins nostros and horn nostrum Dominates
Hide the whole in a place attended by the person whom you want to see falling in love with you or, if that is impossible, burn the hair with the bay leaves and Vervain on a Friday night, with a clear moon, all while concentrating on your desire.
My version-
You will need:
-An address or a phone number or mere proximity to anyone with a vag and/or dong.
-Three hundred dollars
-Trismegistus's yellow feather boa
-Taser, rope, and pepper spray
-A few grams of home cooked crystal meth
Instructions:
Bait your betrothed out of the gutter with Mad Dog 20/20, or just kick Sicily in her bloated gut, and tie her up with the feather boa while chanting:
youz anus cuz humpus rim jobos snorticum fuckafattyfunicus corn rectus Reaganates
...
and sit back and wait for the love.
You will need:
- Three hairs of the person you desire
- Three of your hairs
- A length of red wool yarn
- Three bay leaves
- A few grams of Vervain
Instructions:
Bind the three hairs of your love, with the three of your own hairs, with the length of red wool yarn while pronouncing the following words:
Rue Sanctus spiritus reins nostros and horn nostrum Dominates
Hide the whole in a place attended by the person whom you want to see falling in love with you or, if that is impossible, burn the hair with the bay leaves and Vervain on a Friday night, with a clear moon, all while concentrating on your desire.
My version-
You will need:
-An address or a phone number or mere proximity to anyone with a vag and/or dong.
-Three hundred dollars
-Trismegistus's yellow feather boa
-Taser, rope, and pepper spray
-A few grams of home cooked crystal meth
Instructions:
Bait your betrothed out of the gutter with Mad Dog 20/20, or just kick Sicily in her bloated gut, and tie her up with the feather boa while chanting:
youz anus cuz humpus rim jobos snorticum fuckafattyfunicus corn rectus Reaganates
...
and sit back and wait for the love.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
God only knows my girlfriend has some Super Friend's sperm running across her 19 year old thighs
viva la porno!!!!!!
Sounds like your neighbor Spanky is the key to the fishin' hole. In fact, we don't even need poles -- just tell her to bring her shotgun and we'll catch them that way. Rednecks don't need no conventional tactics.
Wouldn't Sicily look HOT with a femullet?
Speaking of our beloved sped, what the fuck does my anus have to do with her being captured? You's bestest keep back from my rectum, boy. I'll remove your intestines with a butter knife and then I'll put them in a culdron with dust bunnies and Sicily's droooool add a pinch of trismegistus eye crusties to seal the deal.
That's right. HAPPY HALLOWEEN.