nadir

i have had a real tough week...

on tuesday i was struck by a student in the chest. i was trying to keep her from using a broom as an over the head allet on another student, and when it was pulled away from her her arms and body momnetum forced their way in to my chest.

and i have a bruise to prove it.

i went blastic and got my children in the classroom locked the door and called security.

this calls for automatic suspention, not the insane rampage with the broom -- no she would have been taken out of my room for an hour or two and then sent back (and who can not stand being a teacherr anymore). but she was not

she came to school the next day and caused more chaos in the school. she ran around the school threatening my students -- screaming at the top of her lungs, until at luch she did serious destruction to a girl in my class.

i proceeded to blow up to the union rep and went blaistic on why was she let back in this school -- if i do not have a safe environment, i can not teach...

so i filed a grevience this morning. something a new teacher should never do, and even tough this is my second year, i was basicly looking at being diverted to another school for this.

but my prinicpal steped in and told me that my asst principal had screwed up royally. that i was right and that she would sign off on my greivence, happily (no, no office politics there).

but the worst thig of all was that this girl after being suspeneded todaycame to school today as her aunt kicked her out of the house, her mom is in prision. but in doing so she used her boot on the girls face down 3 flights of stairs.

i almost lost my breakfast when i saw her face.
this is a girl that has been shit on from every direction. she lives with her aunt and cousions and sister, everyone got christmas presents in the house exceot her. the aunt constantly tells her that she is stupid and worthless.

so i spent first period with this child in the principals office as she wailed and shivered from fear and anger.

i want kick this aunt's ass. this girl was nothing but hell in my class, disruptive, mean, manipulative, the works. but as i saw her in tears and her face beat in i saw a broken spirit. she will more likely than not never be sucessful, she has never been shown love, and it makes me so sick.

most of my kids see violence on a regular basis, but a beating here or there is not what this vicious attack was.

child services took this girl today, she will never go back to that home. she will go to a group home full of other girls that only know violence and she will fight with them.

the system has failed this girl everyday of her life and now she is going to a situation that is 'better' only to learn more ways to be cruel.

fuck i am going to drink myself stupid