n8tvegrl

Damn. Just when you think you're over some silly crush you find out you've just been fooling yourself. And who would've thought I'd get a crush on a self important, boastful, know it all?

Not only that but he's over weight, lives on another continent, bickers with me constantly, and judges me unmercifully. I find myself wanting to kick him in the shins and yet...
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Well I went to my brother's open mic at this old church in Amboy which is currently some sort of historical museum. It was interesting... lots of talent there. When I stop to think about how much talent was in that tiny building last night it's mind boggling to think of what is out there world wide. We are blessed to have these creative people...
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Okay so I'm going for the fish job. The allure of money is just too much. I am truly a corporate whore...

I feel so liberated by the fact that I finally told my boss I'm leaving. My life has become this hectic mess and I've been desperate to make changes yet seemingly paralyzed with fear and unable to actually do anything.

But things are good. Prospects are good. Friends are abound and I know that all will be okay in the end. No one said these...
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Wow... so much happening in the new year. I had an interview with an agency that is handling the direct hire to this place that according to the man "smells like fish" and had to ask myself if that would really be an issue. For $55K I think I could deal with it but who knows...

Tomorrow I have an interview with a place around...
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Okay it's a new year, I just cut off about four or five inches of hair, and I'm going to be more healthy. How is that for optimism??

I still don't know where I'm going on Monday but no worries. I'll figure it out. I had two other calls about jobs last week so I'm feeling confident that I'll be okay soon.

Now the only...
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Well life is much better but now I'm getting a cold.

Oh yeah and I have to either call my current employer to tell them I am resigning or call the other place to tell them I can't accept their offer. They are both expecting me to be there on Monday...

Well life is forever changing.... if it wasn't then we'd be dead. I just feel like my life is like a carnival ride only I can't get off. I think I'm okay and everything is tolerable and fine and then I'm jerked in another direction and feel like I'm going to vomit again.

I need a new job. I need a new circle of friends....
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Just popped in to see what's been going on....

I know it's a cop out but I wish I could skip backwards or forwards right now. The immediate seems to be so unclear to me and I feel so lost. I wish I had time for SG, money to move out, friends to reassure me, and more energy for my kids.

Instead I have feelings for someone I can't be with, a lack of...
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Ugh... work stress is causing me some serious upper back/neck pain at the moment. Of course home life isn't so hot either but I've been dealing with that for much longer and I think I'm better at that.

Can I get a time out for a few days and recover? Somehow I don't think the boss, man, and kids would allow a crazy thing like...
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So it's amazing how much of a rollercoaster life can be. One can be soaring in the clouds one minute and then it's like suddenly flying into a tree.

*ouch*

Back to reality... and right now reality BITES!