mutanix

I think I may be losing a friend. My sexuality is driving a wedge between us. For him its as simple as God and the Devil and he feels I'm going to hell in a handbasket. I, of course, don't believe that.

I went to a gay&lesbian expo on Saturday with a friend of mine. I liked it. I want more. Of course as I'm thinking this my friend is wishing that I hadn't gone at all.

We have been friends for 8. It was hard enough dealing with knowlege that he believes I'm going to hell. Now I have to deal with not having him as a friend

Excerpt from my journal, date unknown.

I hate this. There they sit, kissing and hugging and loving each other. God I would give anything to be in his place. I would give anything to be in her place. If I could have her hair, her eyes, her lips so that I may use them to seduce her companion. Just as she must have.

I would use those lips to kiss his lips. I would run those fingers through his hair. Damn I want to be her, she is beautiful, so beautiful. And what must his hands feel like against her skin? What must it feel like to be penetrated by him? To have him pounding away at that flesh as those nails dig into his back. I would give anything to experince it once.