Life has been pretty quiet since I got hurt. Ive been taking it easy...doctors orders. Sleeping 11 hour nights and mostly watching T.V....I went to one charity event...but thats about it.
Until....
I got a call from Vision World that my new glasses were ready to be picked up
wooohooo!
But I had just taking my prescription and I was a little groggy so Todd offered to drive me. We headed up to providence and I got my precious glasses and fell in love with my new found 20/20 vision.....
Todd suggested we go play some pool...so he went to a near by billiard and shot a few games...but by then my back was on fire and I knew I shouldnt have attemped to play....
then Todds phne rang.....
it was his pool league and they wanted him to head down to their home team bar to play his round tonight....he had a half hour to get there....
well now I knew I was fucked. Todd had no time to drop me off at home....and I sure as hell did not want to go to this redneck crap bar....but Todd really wanted to play, promising me we will only be there an hour....and I shut my mouth.
but I knew trouble was just around the corner....trouble always finds me ...at redneck crap bars.
we get in and I can bearly see with all the second hand smoke ....when my eyes adjust I saw what I already knew was there....
fat people in sweatpants...women with mullets....men wearing harely davidson EVERYTHINg (but yet not ONE bike was parked outside) ......young trailer park girls wearing the same stlye I wore when I was 13.....and boys with nascar hats on with long knotty hair trailing down their backs...
....but still...I shut my mouth...and sat down in a corner. Todd got his sticks out and began to play...
So there I sit with my back against the wall (because it feels better with the support) and a table of fat hoes looks at me and one of them said with a mouth full of chicken....
"What! Yer to good to sit wit the rest of uz?!"
so I simply say in a polite voice...
"I have a pinched nerve and my back is killing me, Im on meds, I dont feel like being social, and leaning against the wall feels better on my back."
Then they all laugh at something fat hoe #2 said...and they leave me alone.
An hour passes and I see Todd go over to his team captian and they were arguing. Todd grabs his shit and races over to me and says "We're leaving!!"
Apparently....Todd cpatian lied to him about what handicap the guy he was playing was...and todd lost because he thought his handicap was higher. It was really just plain dumb of the team captain to lie to her own team-,ate. Her excuse was she hotught Todd would play better.
dumb.
anyway...so we head out to the parking lot and a turquise chevy truck was parked across the lot blocking 6 cars!!! Todds being one of them.
Todd goes insde and the bartender makes an announcment to move the car. No one moves. We wait....then todd goes back inside...and I heard him fomr he parking lot SCREAM
"WOULD THE OWNER OF THE TURQUISE CHEVY LICENSE NUMBER 4433 MOVE YOUR FUCKING TRUCK!!!!!!"
still nothing.
So Todd gets in the van and I wait outside helping him try to back up.....we are now milimeters from hitting this guys truck...
when LOW and BEHOLD!!! THE OWNER GRACES US WITH HIS PRESENTS!!!
He says "Yo yer gonna hit mah truck!"
I say"Then get in your fucking truck and move it now"
he says "All you had to do was ask!!!!"
I say "We made two loud ass annoncments in a little ass bar! You mean to tell me you didnt hear him scream?"
"I was taking a piss!"
then he just stands there. Um excuse me! There he just stood...all 260 pounds of man meat in leather...drooling.
I say " Hey redneck...get in your fukcing truck and move it! Then the issue will be resolved!"
he say " Mumble mumble fucking mumble mumble"
I have just about had it now and wanted to go home....I walk up to him and get in his face...
"Get in your truck! This is why I hate redencks!! Whats wrong with you! Do you need me to play a little banjo jingle so you can get your ass moving!!!"
....and I proceeded to play the air banjo....
(it seemed like a good comment at the time...)
anyway....he stares at me with fire in his beady lil eyes and I thought he was going to hit me...but he got in his truck and backed out.....Todd yelled for me to get in the van...I get in and Todd stops...the guy only pulled out halfway...so todd had to make a million degree point turn to get his van out...
now we are heated!!! I open the window and
screamed "You twinkie eating redneck mother fucker with a third grade education!!!!!"
His rebuttle..."Fuck yer!!!"
and Todd speeds away as I try to open my door and jump out....
Todd calls his team captain...tells her to "fuck off, and he quits."
and I made todd promise never to take me to a redneck bar again. Its not in my nature to handle people like that. I dont clash with many people...but put a redneck in front of me...and BAM....its WWF time!!!
well that was my fight with the rednecks. No fist were swung...I dont get into fights like that if you know me by now.
Its funny now that I think about it. Todd told me he had to hold back laughing when I was dancing in front of Manmeat....playing the air banjo.
I wonder if Manmeat wrote in a journal like this...I wonder what he would say about last night?
Probably that he hates "city folk" or some shit.
The world is what we perseve it to be.....
mine is very colorful.
Until....
I got a call from Vision World that my new glasses were ready to be picked up
wooohooo!
But I had just taking my prescription and I was a little groggy so Todd offered to drive me. We headed up to providence and I got my precious glasses and fell in love with my new found 20/20 vision.....
Todd suggested we go play some pool...so he went to a near by billiard and shot a few games...but by then my back was on fire and I knew I shouldnt have attemped to play....
then Todds phne rang.....
it was his pool league and they wanted him to head down to their home team bar to play his round tonight....he had a half hour to get there....
well now I knew I was fucked. Todd had no time to drop me off at home....and I sure as hell did not want to go to this redneck crap bar....but Todd really wanted to play, promising me we will only be there an hour....and I shut my mouth.
but I knew trouble was just around the corner....trouble always finds me ...at redneck crap bars.
we get in and I can bearly see with all the second hand smoke ....when my eyes adjust I saw what I already knew was there....
fat people in sweatpants...women with mullets....men wearing harely davidson EVERYTHINg (but yet not ONE bike was parked outside) ......young trailer park girls wearing the same stlye I wore when I was 13.....and boys with nascar hats on with long knotty hair trailing down their backs...
....but still...I shut my mouth...and sat down in a corner. Todd got his sticks out and began to play...
So there I sit with my back against the wall (because it feels better with the support) and a table of fat hoes looks at me and one of them said with a mouth full of chicken....
"What! Yer to good to sit wit the rest of uz?!"
so I simply say in a polite voice...
"I have a pinched nerve and my back is killing me, Im on meds, I dont feel like being social, and leaning against the wall feels better on my back."
Then they all laugh at something fat hoe #2 said...and they leave me alone.
An hour passes and I see Todd go over to his team captian and they were arguing. Todd grabs his shit and races over to me and says "We're leaving!!"
Apparently....Todd cpatian lied to him about what handicap the guy he was playing was...and todd lost because he thought his handicap was higher. It was really just plain dumb of the team captain to lie to her own team-,ate. Her excuse was she hotught Todd would play better.
dumb.
anyway...so we head out to the parking lot and a turquise chevy truck was parked across the lot blocking 6 cars!!! Todds being one of them.
Todd goes insde and the bartender makes an announcment to move the car. No one moves. We wait....then todd goes back inside...and I heard him fomr he parking lot SCREAM
"WOULD THE OWNER OF THE TURQUISE CHEVY LICENSE NUMBER 4433 MOVE YOUR FUCKING TRUCK!!!!!!"
still nothing.
So Todd gets in the van and I wait outside helping him try to back up.....we are now milimeters from hitting this guys truck...
when LOW and BEHOLD!!! THE OWNER GRACES US WITH HIS PRESENTS!!!
He says "Yo yer gonna hit mah truck!"
I say"Then get in your fucking truck and move it now"
he says "All you had to do was ask!!!!"
I say "We made two loud ass annoncments in a little ass bar! You mean to tell me you didnt hear him scream?"
"I was taking a piss!"
then he just stands there. Um excuse me! There he just stood...all 260 pounds of man meat in leather...drooling.
I say " Hey redneck...get in your fukcing truck and move it! Then the issue will be resolved!"
he say " Mumble mumble fucking mumble mumble"
I have just about had it now and wanted to go home....I walk up to him and get in his face...
"Get in your truck! This is why I hate redencks!! Whats wrong with you! Do you need me to play a little banjo jingle so you can get your ass moving!!!"
....and I proceeded to play the air banjo....
(it seemed like a good comment at the time...)
anyway....he stares at me with fire in his beady lil eyes and I thought he was going to hit me...but he got in his truck and backed out.....Todd yelled for me to get in the van...I get in and Todd stops...the guy only pulled out halfway...so todd had to make a million degree point turn to get his van out...
now we are heated!!! I open the window and
screamed "You twinkie eating redneck mother fucker with a third grade education!!!!!"
His rebuttle..."Fuck yer!!!"
and Todd speeds away as I try to open my door and jump out....
Todd calls his team captain...tells her to "fuck off, and he quits."
and I made todd promise never to take me to a redneck bar again. Its not in my nature to handle people like that. I dont clash with many people...but put a redneck in front of me...and BAM....its WWF time!!!
well that was my fight with the rednecks. No fist were swung...I dont get into fights like that if you know me by now.
Its funny now that I think about it. Todd told me he had to hold back laughing when I was dancing in front of Manmeat....playing the air banjo.
I wonder if Manmeat wrote in a journal like this...I wonder what he would say about last night?
Probably that he hates "city folk" or some shit.
The world is what we perseve it to be.....
mine is very colorful.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I'm so sorry to hear about your back, I get pinched nerves from time to time it it can be debilitating and really grate on the ability to enjoy anything except sleep. I hope you get some rest and your back heals quickly. I'm a licensed EMT so i'm a professional at this and as your self proclaimed on-line health care professional I'm prescribing you a weekend curled in bed resting and having every whim pampered to. Oh and copious amounts of numbing and relaxing medication as needed.
Hope you feel better soon kiddo!
P.S. You may help yourself to one lolipop and one balloon on your way out of my office.