murder_

so another early day. at least I can go back to sleep at 9. but honestly. this is fucking with my body so much. I'm going to take a nyquil at 10 tonight and hopefully pass out by 12. Yeah, that's the only way I sleep any more, fucking nyquil. but, I wish I had known what it does to me when I had serious insomnia. like a year ago I could never sleep. I was constantly tired all day and pumped my body full of caffeine, and never slept at night. Now, I just have a weird sleep schedule I guess.

It doesn't help that I've eaten one meal a day for the past week. I've been busy/sleeping so I don't eat at normal times. that's been really fucking with my body. I just want to wake up without hating the world. does anyone do that?

gah, I guess I'm just being overly pessimistic. I don't know. I've been pretty uncomfortable in my own skin lately. maybe it's the weather. I think I might just really miss my boyfriend. he's my best friend in the world and he's my rock. I guess it's normal to feel a little lost when the person who means everything to you is 800 miles away.

so then, why have I been blowing him off? I mean, we talk everyday like three or four times a day. but lately I've been blowing him off. Jut takking for a few minutes and making some excuse to go. I don't know. I just need to go calm down and sort this shit out.

♥