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mugen1r

Well..living on mountain ain't enough? somewhere NC,Henderville most likely ^^

Member Since 2018

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Light at end of darkness

Jun 30, 2018
10
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Well this tense but couple day back reading up on @Vaega story moved me share mine.because suicide is no joke, some years and good portion of my life I was suicidal, many times in my life I wanted just say fuck it be gone. I fed up with begin mistreated taken for granted, in my teens early to late twenties I thought knew shit or was the shit...all jokes aside I wasn't but inside I slowly dying from inside. And depression is no joke either, I've been mocked for having ADHD as if some type of illness I can't help been label mentally ill am not no different than one else just wired different. The art you see is something still day have hard time believe, with some twisted alter ago who was my worse enemy.

And falls back conversation I had with @LOVELYDEMON very nice woman<3 I used believe I wasn't worth shit, at times heard mean things I wasn't meant hear. 7years ago was unhealthy relationship that ruin my life blamed for their shallow mistakes and shatter me and took three four months function again, as being mental emotional abusive wasn't enough cried for help only get left in darkness by few others. My friend at time was alcohol for few months, violent out burst yeah drink doesn't help mostly emotional breaks I'm not violent when drink just emotional. Almost losing job i had then as if cutting back barely working was depressing enough couldn't cope with it.

Anxiety attacks as if some is smash my chest with baseball bat cracking my chest two, choke up trying breath in past as kid I wanted end my life when father die at age seven with belt (forgive me if its too graphic) couldn't cope with the loss among others that do with it and scaring my mother shitless, watching someone die from premonition I had who like father to me. Yeah struggled years thing's lot different now but no deserves be left in the dark or feel unworthy or feeling like aren't meant be loved everyone should be loved, no lie I struggle bit sharing this almost started get emotional. But enough said with depressing shit I give mad props to all wonderful ladies for pouring guts out opening up as I'm to you all, and sharing your wonderful work that takes guts and pride true beauty your all beautiful people. As well photographers formal sg's that's love if that love I don't what is, their good handful I could mention but you know who you are<3

VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
chroi:
@mugen1r 😃💚
Jul 28, 2018
mugen1r:
@chroi :D <3
Jul 28, 2018

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