ms

I was one of those weirdos who went and saw LOTR on Tuesday night. We bought the tickets and got to the theatre one-and-a-half hours early. We sit down one row from the top. Maybe it was just me or quite possibly the spot we were sitting in was the prime location for the acoustics in the auditorium but every fucking person who opened their mouth was annoying me. I could here everything, it sucked. Maybe it was just because we were surrounded by ninteen-year-old little bastards on both sides but I was very annoyed. Especially the group of five that were sitting in the first row. These fucks obviously think that everyone wants to see them sing and yodle to the "Mexican Hat Dance" song. Twnety minutes before the movie starts I head to the concession stand to get an Icee. They have no grape. Only White Cherry or Blueberry. Being the "ultimate heterosexual" that I am I opt for the White Cherry. Blueberry just sounds too much like "testicle" at that moment. The guy tells me it will be $3.75. I hand him four dollar coins that were given to me by the stamp machine that day when I asked for one stamp but accidentally inserted a five dollar bill. He looks at his hand for a good fifteen seconds. He turns the coins over and then he looks at me and says "We don't accept these." You sonofabitchmotherfucker. Are you telling me that you don't accept American currency? So I just smile and say "Did you happen to read them?" So he calls his manager over and she informs him that those are dollar coins. He exclaims that he thought they were Harkins tokens. I searched and there are no such things as Harkins tokens. So hands me back a quarter and and I tell him "I'm sorry, I don't accept these. Do you have any paper money?" He didn't think it was funny but the cute redhead working next to him did. I tried my damndest to project images of fornication and oral sex into her head---it didn't work. Oh well. One of these days my mind control will work and when it does watch out females. Your ass is next.