I KNOW I just wrote today but I am sitting home bored thinking. AND I AM a pisces.....so ....
oh this is quite long....sory but it needs to be said....
Mood: reflective
Once there was this little girl. Happy. Had everything her little heart desired. Raised by her grandparents (retired military) and spoiled but was taught the value of working hard for something she wanted....
At age 11 she gets sick. Goes into a coma. Not for long tho. Wakes up to having a disease called Diabetes. She is told she will die without shots. No Problem. Then she is told her father is coming out to see her. She looks up at her mother and asks "Mommie, am I dying?" I mean why else would her father come see her???
All through school people treat her like a leper. Like they will get diabetes from her. She cant go to slumber parties because there is no one there that can help in an emergency. Kids are cruel and adults are stupid and her life is hard. She takes 7 shots a day and cant eat what she likes.
After Graduation she starts dabbling in drugs. Always testing he blood and trying to eat right but her family wont pay attention to her cries for help. So she moves out to live on the streets for a year...during this time her beloved grandmother develops cancer. Still doing drugs she moves back home to take care of her "mother". Sadly she dies. She isnt there but can feel the loss nonetheless. This woman was there for her. Through the boyfriends beating her up to the drugs problem as well. She becomes lost. Does more drugs.
Gets arrested for a traffic ticket. Moves to Denver to get to know her father..DOES quit drugs tho.
While she is there she gets sick with a cold. No health insurance so she moves back home. No loss...now understands why her mom divorced her dad when she was 7 months old...
Cold gets worse.
ER trip turns into an ICU stay.
Walked into the er...
leaves in a wheelchair not being able to use her legs.
Life from here gets worse. her mother married an alcoholic who is mentally abusive and doesnt want his sick stepdaughter living there. Her health takes a dive. She is in constant pain. She throws up 3-6 times a day. No one can tell her why. She goes from 180 pounds to 93 in 8 months. She is dying and no one can explain. In and out of mental health because she wants to die. This is not living life she thinks. Going from her bed to the hospital bed 4 times a month.
In mental health they tell her there is nothing wrong with her. it is all in her head. The pain. the nausea. Everything. A doctor finally sends her for an ultra sound to look at her liver. What do they find? Dunno...looks bad. So under the knfe she goes. Her scar is supposed to be a half inch long. Checking for cancer. She wakes up and asks if it IS and is told no but her scar is 6 inches long. She has a rare liver condition called Focal Nodular Hyperplasia of the liver. Big wart like things COVERING her liver. The smallest one is the size of a golf ball! No cant remove them....too much bleeding would occur on the liver. Also she finds out that she has most of the side affects of diabetes. Retinopathy, gastro parisis. extremety nerve damage, heart condition just to name a few.
3 months later she is worse. She is home watching TV ( Charmed when it first came out! ) and slightly remembers her mother calling 9-11. The stayin the hospital is blurry for a few days until...nothing. She slips into a coma for a week. A faint mamory of the doctors telling her mom to get her affairs in order...she wont make it to Halloween...
And then she wakes up. Doctors didnt change anything. No one did. It just wasnt her time.
Over the years it has been touch and go. LOTS of heartbreak with health and relationships (mostly due to her health) and struggles with keeping jobs BECAUSE of her health.
Finally she get strong. MUCH stronger. She can work and has dreams of going to school. Going to learn to help the other diabetic children. Helping them to avoid what she went through or helping them cope if they are meant to go through it. She has gained weight and finally become the woman that her dear grandmother had always wanted...she is happy for the most part. Finally.
This is the short story of me. MUCH was left out. But for those of you that wonder if I have what it takes to be an SG tis is why I believe I do. For those of you that want to KNOW why I want this so bad...here ya go. I want to help ppl. Children and adults alike. I was a woman that didnt have a future. I was the ugly duckling. I was shy and unhappy and thought my life was over. I was wrong and I was given a second chance. If ever just one woman looks at me and what I have been through and says "wow, she got better and look what she became. I bet I could do that too!" than all my suffering has been worth it. Then all the working hard to become an SG is worth it.
Honestly you really dont need to post any comments like "I am so sorry". You are my friends and I KNOW you are. I thank you for your support and love. I DO ask that before you give someone a backhanded comment, be rude to them, wonder why they are the way they are, or why they are doing something remember...this is only the tip of my iceburg. So maybe THEY too have obsticals they need to overcome or adversity they have conqured to become who they are so why dont you suck it up and be nice. OR just shove it up your arse!
I love ya all...well MOST of ya, and I am so thankful each and every day that whatever made me healthy (not religious AT ALL keep that in mind) also brought me to YOU!!!
Sorry this was so long....sigh...I am glad to get it out so thank you!
Take care and try to smile today!!!
A
oh this is quite long....sory but it needs to be said....
Mood: reflective
Once there was this little girl. Happy. Had everything her little heart desired. Raised by her grandparents (retired military) and spoiled but was taught the value of working hard for something she wanted....
At age 11 she gets sick. Goes into a coma. Not for long tho. Wakes up to having a disease called Diabetes. She is told she will die without shots. No Problem. Then she is told her father is coming out to see her. She looks up at her mother and asks "Mommie, am I dying?" I mean why else would her father come see her???
All through school people treat her like a leper. Like they will get diabetes from her. She cant go to slumber parties because there is no one there that can help in an emergency. Kids are cruel and adults are stupid and her life is hard. She takes 7 shots a day and cant eat what she likes.
After Graduation she starts dabbling in drugs. Always testing he blood and trying to eat right but her family wont pay attention to her cries for help. So she moves out to live on the streets for a year...during this time her beloved grandmother develops cancer. Still doing drugs she moves back home to take care of her "mother". Sadly she dies. She isnt there but can feel the loss nonetheless. This woman was there for her. Through the boyfriends beating her up to the drugs problem as well. She becomes lost. Does more drugs.
Gets arrested for a traffic ticket. Moves to Denver to get to know her father..DOES quit drugs tho.
While she is there she gets sick with a cold. No health insurance so she moves back home. No loss...now understands why her mom divorced her dad when she was 7 months old...
Cold gets worse.
ER trip turns into an ICU stay.
Walked into the er...
leaves in a wheelchair not being able to use her legs.
Life from here gets worse. her mother married an alcoholic who is mentally abusive and doesnt want his sick stepdaughter living there. Her health takes a dive. She is in constant pain. She throws up 3-6 times a day. No one can tell her why. She goes from 180 pounds to 93 in 8 months. She is dying and no one can explain. In and out of mental health because she wants to die. This is not living life she thinks. Going from her bed to the hospital bed 4 times a month.
In mental health they tell her there is nothing wrong with her. it is all in her head. The pain. the nausea. Everything. A doctor finally sends her for an ultra sound to look at her liver. What do they find? Dunno...looks bad. So under the knfe she goes. Her scar is supposed to be a half inch long. Checking for cancer. She wakes up and asks if it IS and is told no but her scar is 6 inches long. She has a rare liver condition called Focal Nodular Hyperplasia of the liver. Big wart like things COVERING her liver. The smallest one is the size of a golf ball! No cant remove them....too much bleeding would occur on the liver. Also she finds out that she has most of the side affects of diabetes. Retinopathy, gastro parisis. extremety nerve damage, heart condition just to name a few.
3 months later she is worse. She is home watching TV ( Charmed when it first came out! ) and slightly remembers her mother calling 9-11. The stayin the hospital is blurry for a few days until...nothing. She slips into a coma for a week. A faint mamory of the doctors telling her mom to get her affairs in order...she wont make it to Halloween...
And then she wakes up. Doctors didnt change anything. No one did. It just wasnt her time.
Over the years it has been touch and go. LOTS of heartbreak with health and relationships (mostly due to her health) and struggles with keeping jobs BECAUSE of her health.
Finally she get strong. MUCH stronger. She can work and has dreams of going to school. Going to learn to help the other diabetic children. Helping them to avoid what she went through or helping them cope if they are meant to go through it. She has gained weight and finally become the woman that her dear grandmother had always wanted...she is happy for the most part. Finally.
This is the short story of me. MUCH was left out. But for those of you that wonder if I have what it takes to be an SG tis is why I believe I do. For those of you that want to KNOW why I want this so bad...here ya go. I want to help ppl. Children and adults alike. I was a woman that didnt have a future. I was the ugly duckling. I was shy and unhappy and thought my life was over. I was wrong and I was given a second chance. If ever just one woman looks at me and what I have been through and says "wow, she got better and look what she became. I bet I could do that too!" than all my suffering has been worth it. Then all the working hard to become an SG is worth it.
Honestly you really dont need to post any comments like "I am so sorry". You are my friends and I KNOW you are. I thank you for your support and love. I DO ask that before you give someone a backhanded comment, be rude to them, wonder why they are the way they are, or why they are doing something remember...this is only the tip of my iceburg. So maybe THEY too have obsticals they need to overcome or adversity they have conqured to become who they are so why dont you suck it up and be nice. OR just shove it up your arse!
I love ya all...well MOST of ya, and I am so thankful each and every day that whatever made me healthy (not religious AT ALL keep that in mind) also brought me to YOU!!!
Sorry this was so long....sigh...I am glad to get it out so thank you!
Take care and try to smile today!!!
A
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Well done.