WARNING- - - - WARNING - - - - -WARNING
GRUMPY OLD MAN ALERT
WOOOOB WOOOOB WOOOOOB WOOOOOB WOOOOOB
It is Friday night and I am in hiding.
For why? Am I being chased by the Fashion Police again? Would I really have the audacity to steal candy from a baby?
I am hiding from The Outside World because of two words, which I hate with a passion...........Comic Relief.
I should actually start off by saying I am not averse to charities. I have my two favourites which, for my own personal reasons, I believe are the most deserving of all causes in the entire world. I send them money on a regular basis and they do very well out of me each year.
But I don't believe in Comic Relief in any way shape or form. Ever. Why, for starters, should I feel like a social leper just because I won't give my money to some stranger stood in the High Street wearing a snorkel and a nightie, donning red hair and waving a bucket of loose change in my face. Or because I haven't decided to take part in a ridiculous auction whilst others bid for tat at vastly inflated prices. Or because I won't go through pain/embarrassment/degredation in the name of 'Charity'.
Secondly: 24 hour television coverage. This isn't a carefully scripted sitcom with a running theme; this isn't the creme de la creme of Britain's comediac output being offered for your televisual delight; no, it is mass-produced, endless pap. Just because presenters are saying things over an endless loop of canned laughter it DOESN'T MAKE IT FUNNY. Honestly, how many of you can remember your favourite Comic Relief moment as opposed to, say, your most favourite episode of Spin City or Friends or <insert your favourite comedy here>? And the trouble is, more and more B-list celebs are compelled to join in all in the name of political correctness, thus causing the Beast to grow ready for the next offering in two years time.
Furthermore, I cannot and do not abide the emotional blackmail. "Look at these people from X country starving, covered in flies and unable to help themselves in any way, shape or form" go the repetitive loops of footage. At what point do these starving parents actually need to be told "IF YOU CAN'T FEED YOUR KIDS THEN STOP FUCKING AND STOP PRODUCING THEM". How is offering them an endless stream of hand-outs going to help and encourage them to stand on their own two feet?
Personally, I would rather such vast sums of money were donated by people to help UK causes - what about our homeless; starving; needy; shitty NHS healthcare system? Ahhh, I guess that is one for the politicians amongst you.....
No, I shall stay in doors and do other things and avoid the entire BBC network until this whole annoying telethon is over.
Grumpy Old Man signing off
GRUMPY OLD MAN ALERT
WOOOOB WOOOOB WOOOOOB WOOOOOB WOOOOOB
It is Friday night and I am in hiding.
For why? Am I being chased by the Fashion Police again? Would I really have the audacity to steal candy from a baby?
I am hiding from The Outside World because of two words, which I hate with a passion...........Comic Relief.
I should actually start off by saying I am not averse to charities. I have my two favourites which, for my own personal reasons, I believe are the most deserving of all causes in the entire world. I send them money on a regular basis and they do very well out of me each year.
But I don't believe in Comic Relief in any way shape or form. Ever. Why, for starters, should I feel like a social leper just because I won't give my money to some stranger stood in the High Street wearing a snorkel and a nightie, donning red hair and waving a bucket of loose change in my face. Or because I haven't decided to take part in a ridiculous auction whilst others bid for tat at vastly inflated prices. Or because I won't go through pain/embarrassment/degredation in the name of 'Charity'.
Secondly: 24 hour television coverage. This isn't a carefully scripted sitcom with a running theme; this isn't the creme de la creme of Britain's comediac output being offered for your televisual delight; no, it is mass-produced, endless pap. Just because presenters are saying things over an endless loop of canned laughter it DOESN'T MAKE IT FUNNY. Honestly, how many of you can remember your favourite Comic Relief moment as opposed to, say, your most favourite episode of Spin City or Friends or <insert your favourite comedy here>? And the trouble is, more and more B-list celebs are compelled to join in all in the name of political correctness, thus causing the Beast to grow ready for the next offering in two years time.
Furthermore, I cannot and do not abide the emotional blackmail. "Look at these people from X country starving, covered in flies and unable to help themselves in any way, shape or form" go the repetitive loops of footage. At what point do these starving parents actually need to be told "IF YOU CAN'T FEED YOUR KIDS THEN STOP FUCKING AND STOP PRODUCING THEM". How is offering them an endless stream of hand-outs going to help and encourage them to stand on their own two feet?
Personally, I would rather such vast sums of money were donated by people to help UK causes - what about our homeless; starving; needy; shitty NHS healthcare system? Ahhh, I guess that is one for the politicians amongst you.....
No, I shall stay in doors and do other things and avoid the entire BBC network until this whole annoying telethon is over.
Grumpy Old Man signing off
no i agree completely. comic relief isnt funny anymore at all
dont worry, i plan on imposing breeding restrictions when i rule the planet. (oh yes, my plan is still coming along nicely).