mrbaker

OK, I'm done with being a whiny bitch. Saturday's blog, yeah, I'm sorry for that. YES I was sad for a few days (OK, like a week) but it was over stupid shit, and I was wallowing in it. Well, I'm not going to do that anymore.

Am I disappointed about how things turned out with my (former) sweetheart and I, of course. I would love for her to have chosen me over the guy she ended up marrying, but she didn't, and she's happy, and I'm glad for her.

Do I think that she deserves a fair amount of credit for helping me get out of my stagnant life that I was in, yeah...probably, but I'M the one who motivated myself to loose weight, become more confident, dress nicely, etcetera. I will always be grateful that she showed me that I'm worth investing in; that I could be loved, but I pulled myself up, not her.

Damn, I do want companionship, but I'm more than capable of living on my own, I have a pretty amazing internal life, and its a damn shame I don't have someone to share that with. I will not, however, stake my happiness on someone else. I'm my own person, dammit.

And finally, I do realize people's perceptions of me are important, but I will not stress and moan in trepidation. Sometimes friends get upset about stupid things, I can't help that so I shouldn't worry about it. I should instead trust and be grateful for their friendship, so long as I still have it.

Now...

I need to get some grad school stuff finished. I still have to prep portfolios for the apps that have the latest due dates, it'll be easy, but time-consuming. After that, I'm making more paintings, and they're going to be awesome.

I've been a bitch...I'm done now.

Mr.Baker