I got settled in to a new place after my desperate search for reliable roommates. I start work this week at a new job even though I am sicker than fuck I need the money to survive and I am going to try and hold out doing this job as long as possible.
I dont know how long that will be....but im going to give it my all.
Christmas alone without friends and family was really hard. I struggled a lot. I lost a lot of people this year with the death especially of one of my best friends.
I have also basically been refusing treatment because seriously....I never heard of anyone at my stage being "cured" plus it turns out I have a bunch of genetic abnormalities that make matter worse. Of all the diseases I could have this is the worst to have a MTFHR mutation and a histamine intolerance. Every month it seems I can add new things to my allergy list. Its only worsening. But I am still alive. The heart issues are getting worse. I know I have heart block but there isn't much they can do especially given my medication intolerance. I had to make a choice. I need to work. I cannot survive probably either way but id rather not be homeless and without food and such. At least this way I can be somewhat comfortable.
We will see. If I get worse Ill just ask for medical leave hopefully so I can start treatment even though I know its more of a time buyer than a cure. There is no cure. Remission....for some but people have had to mortgage their houses and farm out all their belongings and be on disability and even then they barely scrape by affording their care. I cant afford mine. period. I have tried every avenue. Yeah i have health insurance, but with that there are co-pays and i have whatever is left over after what they cover half the time and I am still getting buried.
This is as positive as an update can get. I am forcing myself to gout out. Hopefully have this new therapist who is unfortunately out of pocket like my Lyme doctor who I am optimistic he can help me with the mental aspect of this. He doesn't take insurance so he can offer the best care to his ability without insurance companies dictating what he does. This to me might be a godsend since half my doctors say Lyme disease doesn't exist. Dont fuck around with tick bites people.....this sit isn't a cakewalk.
Thats my update.
I'm getting shit done.
Thats what matters. right?
Follow me on instagram...i really need love. Its linked to here.
