Hello!
I'm Mosey and I'm taking this special moment in time to FINALLY introduce myself and start becoming a more vocal entity on the site... and what better way to do so than tell you all about my experience at the 2017 @blackheartburlesque tour... because believe me, you are going to want to hear about this.
Before I begin, I'll give you a brief run down about myself:
-When I was a little girl, I absolutely worshipped The Little Mermaid. My mom tells me that I could recite and sing the entire film before i even knew how to speak intelligibly on my own.
-When I was seven, I discovered my aunt's No Doubt CD. I brought it home and would listen to it after school until 4:30 when my dad got home (there was a ridiculously strict NO POP MUSIC rule in my household. all country, no questions asked). This started my love affair with Gwen Stefani.
-Then one day I somehow was about to graduate college, and Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" came on the radio, and I realized I was absolutely in love with this woman... and that i didn't exactly mind kissing girls, either.
-After college, my crippling student debt doubled by an abusive relationship and an inability to make it as a wedding photographer triggered my anxiety and depression which had been fairly well contained after my teenage years. Rather than bore you with details, I've learned to contain it and deal with it through therapy and minimal medication.
-And... Tomorrow i turn THIRTY!
I promise, these facts are important! One day i'll dive deeper, but lets get on to the fun stuff... the BURLESQUE!
So I believe I became an official member of Suicide Girls about four years ago after constantly lurking around on tumblr for the longest time. I saw a photo from Phecda's "Draper" photoset and thought okay, I've gotta see this! not too long after, I saw that the Blackheart Burlesque had been resurrected and there was no chance I wasn't going to see this. So I bought tickets and that fall my boyfriend, best bud, and I went to manhattan to witness this amazingness... and SURPRISE! theres @katherine
It was then that I realized I was barking up the wrong tree... I absolutely, so badly wanted to be a pin up photographer, from this moment forward.
I also got to witness Sunny's epic strip tease which catapulted her to the position of host... but i have no photographic evidence of this.
I of course went to the shows each year as they came around and it got better and better each time! I got to meet some of the girls and it was always a sweet, humbling experience.
So when the tour was announced for this year, I decided its time to spend the extra money and go VIP. I had applied to be a tour assistant, but ultimately didn't make the cut... a bummer but its totally okay.
PS... This is where it gets good!
So this year I took my boyfriend, my bestie, and her husband. We enter the building... and I choke. Here are the strong, talented, amazing women, who i have admired from afar... right in front of me. I didn't know what to say. I got so shy, i could hardly muster a word.
but do you know what helps with that?
Tequila.
So after two shots, i'm immediately feeling good enough to muster out a hello. I'm a lightweight... thank you god.
So we take our picture and thats when my bestie surprises me and said she upgraded our tickets to the seated section... YAY! (i'm 5'2'' and i ALWAYS get stuck behind a giant.)
So as we're sitting here, the wonderful DJ @mernie starts playing none other than a No Doubt medley. My best girl said "they must have known you were coming!" so I'm now wonderfully toasted, singing and wiggling along, while simultaneously kicking myself for not having the courage to say hello to anyone earlier.
but then the show starts!!
YAY!
And then suddenly, I'm making eyes at @sunny and I don't even remember what she was saying but all of a sudden...
she says its time for ME to get up THERE on stage with her... okay!
Thank you, tequila.
Oh, yes, and Thank you, Sunny!
Needless to say... It was AMAZING!
I can't figure out how to post the video here... its pure comedy! I'll eventually get it... but anyways, eventually my nerves started kicking in and i was like HOLY SHIT... I'm on stage! Dream come true? yep!
Then there was the part where she pulled me back up on stage and announced it was time for the audience to strip... thats where that pesky anxiety i spoke about earlier kicked in. all i could think was MY BOSS IS ON INSTAGRAM! SHE WILL FIND THIS! My clients will never allow me to plan their wedding if they see my fat rolls in all their glory!! then my thoughts turned to my clothes... i'm not wearing hardly enough! and my leggings are the compression sport kind where you practically have to have them vacuumed off! and my bra is lace! what am i going to do?!?!?! I could feel myself starting to panic and the last thing i wanted was to black out on stage... If any of the women who came to me and started dancing and calmed me down, thank you! i wish i got your names, you're SAINTS!
I have yet to review this video because I remember awkwardly robotting away while trying to find a cave to crawl in or some tushies to squeeze.. so very, very awkwardly. BUT this is where i got to meet @skunchsquirrel and see her slay the competition so ya know, alls well that ends well.
And Sunny said we were going to make out. we didn't... but hey theres always next time right?
So after being plucked out of the crowd, getting motorboat repeatedly by my girl crush, and not dying of panic or embarrassment when i didn't know how to dance or strip... i figured oh what the hell, its time for me to profess my love.
So after the show ended, I ran through the venue and professed my undying love for @sunshine and @peneloppe
again, very awkwardly.
And... I got to meet the British Goddess @lucerne! my head looks so incredibly large compared to her. I'm a terrible selfie taker!
I'll figure out how to get that video uploaded here.
Thanks for reading along, I hope you enjoyed my little tale as much as i enjoy telling it. Thank you to all of the girls for helping me completely wreck my comfort zone, i can only hope that we all meet again someday soon!