morbidangel

Why do I hold myself back? What am I afraid of? I know what I'm capable of and what my limits are. Like so many people around me, I am not even approaching my potential. I am squandering some of what could be the best years of my life. I am allowing myself to be chained down by those who care little for me and are willing to milk me for everything I am, so they can get a quarter step ahead. I could be so much more than I am. I could be using my skills and knowledge far more than I currently am to aid others and make the world even a little better than it is.

But I'm not. It's a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I've been working more than full time and going to school full time for over six years now. I'm burnt out. I was filled with such vitality and youthful vigor, and now I'm filled with angst and stress. Why have I done this to myself? How must I hate myself to do this? Why am I doing it?

And I've been a bad friend. I'm ALWAYS there if my friends need me, but am around little in general when I'm not needed. I love my friends. They are amazing people and I'm lucky to have them in my life. I'm going to make a conscious effort to see these people more. Maybe some of their qualities will rub off on me and help me become a better person. I could only hope. And maybe my presence will bring them some comfort and joy as theirs does to me.